4 Attraction Factors you Want to Know

4 Attraction Factors you Want to Know

What makes a man or a woman magnetically attractive?  We’ll get to specific characteristics for both men and women in a moment… They may surprise and enlighten you… and first, let’s explore attraction in general.

Magnetic attraction arises not from what we’re doing, but who we’re being.   And, that attractive “beingness” shows up quite differently for men and women.  What draws a woman to a man differs dramatically from what draws a man to women.  Let’s just say a man smiling and glowing while being wild or free-flowing…won’t likely be powerfully attractive to a feminine woman.   Yet that same man might well find a woman with those exact qualities quite irresistible.

I’ve included 4 key attraction factors for men and 4 for women below…  But before I give you the factors, remember…


We’re the MOST attractive being real and authentic… our genuine self.

It is not our perfection that draws people towards us… it is our humanness.


In our willingness to be completely “real”, the true realness appears.  The deeper truth of who we are arises and when that’s revealed… oh my god… the love and magic!

So let’s look at some of the characteristics we find most attractive in our mates and prospective mates…

Critical Attraction Factors – Women 

  1. Authenticity – Be you… be real…
  2. Self-Confidence – Believe in yourself – you are great!
  3. Radiance – Take care of yourself so you can smile and shine… men LOVE that!
  4. Receptivity – Be willing for a man to take care of you… If you can do it all and want to do it all… what do you need him for?  Let him open a door, carry your bag, help you out… Men love to take care of us!

Critical Attraction Factors – Men

  1. Authenticity – Be you… be real…
  2. Self-Confidence – Stand tall… Trust Yourself…
  3. Direction – Know who you are… what you want… what you stand for in the world.  Have a good idea where you’e going in life…  Be willing to “lead” in the relationship (i.e. ask her out, plan dates, propose, coordinate major life plans…)
  4. Presence – Be present to who she is… listen to her.  See beyond her body to the real woman inside.  She can feel when you energy leaves – whether you are talking or lovemaking – she feels it.

You can’t fake these qualities… They have to be real.  So if you struggle with these in yourself, you’ll want to take a look at what gets in your way.  It’s probably conditioning or painful past experiences that part of you would do anything to avoid experiencing again.  Unfortunately, that conditioning and “protective” way of being prevents you from experiencing the very thing you seek.


Your “protective” way of being prevents you from experiencing the very thing you seek.


If you’ve lost your confidence… it’s time to find it.

If you feel like you have to “put on a happy face” or ” do it all right” or “even be who you think they want you to be”… you don’t!  Trying will simply get in the way of love.


Just be you… All of you…


I’m committed to you having your dreams come true!

In love, light and ecstasy,

Joanna Shakti


*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.

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