Creating Chemistry Men and Women

5 Keys to Creating Good Chemistry

I’m not sure I know anyone that doesn’t enjoy good chemistry in a relationship… whether in a kiss, flirting at dinner, or making passionate love.  I’d even venture to say that most of us enjoy good chemistry with the people we work with. It’s a different kind of chemistry than romantic sexual chemistry, but chemistry none the less.  The source of those two chemistries even have similarities.

The relationship chemistry between men and women (and probably better said, between masculine people and feminine people), whether at home, in bed or at the office has the same roots… and it’s in the realm of ‘opposites attract’.  The masculine complements the feminine.  The feminine complements the masculine.   With that, a natural rhythm or flow develops… it develops in our lovemaking, in the kitchen or even on our professional teams.

So if you’re asking how to build chemistry in a relationship or how to get chemistry back in a relationship, here are 5 Keys to Know and Practice to Keep the Chemistry Alive.

(Sizzling in bed or sizzling in business… whichever you prefer, whenever you prefer!)

1)  Be You!

Authenticity is super attractive and confidence is super sexy.   Be yourself and others will love you… They’ll support you in having what you need and want… and that goes for between your legs or in the office… (But remember, I don’t typically recommend both simultaneously 😉 )

2) Turn your Shine on or Put Your Pillar Up

Ok… The shine is for the feminine glow, the light that radiates from a women who’s happy, healthy and fully resting in her authentic feminine.  It’s just like moths to a lamp… Men can’t stay away!  That makes us highly attractive.  Mix that feminine light with a man in his masculine, standing tall, erect, confident like a pillar, unshakeable in his authentic confidence… and the women can’t stay away.  Put the two together and you’ve got the magic of chemistry!

3) Get Turned On

Simply said, find what you’re passionate about.  Find the part of you that gets pleasure from whatever you’re doing… or at least most certainly from anything you spend significant time doing.  When you’re passionate about what you do professionally, people want to interact with you… whether that be customers, employees, partners or the like.  In bed, you know what turns her on is different than what turns him on… find out what turns your partner on, and if it works for you… turn them on!  MOST IMPORTANT…  learn what turns you on and share it with the people that matter!

*this is what we explore in our conscious relating and conscious sexuality retreats

4) Make it a Priority

Many of us can get caught in the drudgery of getting things done.  In our quest to complete the never ending to-do list, many of us put what we enjoy at the bottom of that list.  But joy and pleasure … (or at least our pleasure potential)…  are essential parts of chemistry.  Can you think of a time where chemistry was really unpleasant?  We have to have the potential to enjoy pleasure… in order for chemistry to exist.  If we’re exhausted, resentful or stressed out, chemistry will be a challenge… So lovers, leaving lovemaking until the end of the night when you’re both tired is not a winning formula when it comes to chemistry and turn on.   Take care of yourself… support your partner is taking care of himself or herself.  Make love earliers.  You connection will all be a lot more fun and have a lot more spark!

5) Pick your Opposite… not your friend. 

Well ok, it’s ok if you pick your friend, but make sure your friend is opposite you in terms of masculine and feminine energy… I could go on forever on that topic and simply said, masculine energy creates the most chemistry with an equal and opposite level of feminine energy.  If you’re both running more assertive masculine energy, you won’t have chemistry.  You’ll actually repel each other.  The same is true if you’re both running feminine, go-with-the-flow energy. There won’t be chemistry and likely you’ll experience just the opposite… you’ll push each other away.  

For more details on that, check out the articles Relationships without Polarity and The Masculine-Feminine Dance.

Bring those five secrets actively into every area of your life and I wonder how much magic will unfold!? 


In love, light and ecstasy,

Joanna Shakti

*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.

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