50 Shades without the Cuffs
With the release of the new 50 Shades of Grey movie just hours away… many men and women alike are filled with curiosity… some are offended… Millions poured through the books. Millions more have watched the trailer. How do you feel about the topic? Does it scare you? Does it bring up curiosity?
Are you a man who says I could never do that to a woman? Are you a woman who would never want to experience what Anastasia experienced and yet you wish your man would just throw you down on the bed once in awhile?
Our journey with sexuality, and especially the idea of domination or submission, is a highly PERSONAL journey. There are NO RIGHTS. There are NO WRONGS. They are simply your desires… This article and others that will follow are simply and invitation for you to explore what might be true for you.
Although I believe that 50 Shades may be the talk of the country and even the world this weekend, it might be a great fantasy for many and I don’t know any men or women who actually want to live Christian and Anastasia’s whole relationship.
So how can you have some of the spark… some of the heat… the couple shares without a paddle, a red room, or handcuffs?
Since this is no right or wrong here… read the list for yourself…. notice which ones turn you on… which ones scare you or turn you off… which ones make you a little weak behind the knees. Then I truly suggest that you share the list with your girlfriends, your buddies, your lover or potential lover. TALK with each other. Share… get to know each other. Get to know yourself.
If you’re physically intimate with a lover…. AND you feel TOTALLY SAFE… then you might consider trying one or two of the ideas this week. I truly invite you to be playful and curious and very COMMUNICATIVE about your experience.
Whether you like the movie or not, if we only learn one thing from 50 Shades of Grey …. and I know there may be many things to learn… That lesson would be to consciously and actively communicate our needs, wants, desires, and boundaries when it comes to sexual loving.
Next week we’ll explore 3 Ways to Make Her Feel Safe and 3 Ways to Keep Yourself Safe. Seriously, the only way I suggest you explore this topic beyond conversation is when you feel completely safe.
So … play… talk… share… be honest… if, and only if, you want to.
Simply take a moment to explore what makes you hot… or not.
In love, light and ecstasy,
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.