dating advice for men

Dating Advice for Men: The 10 Qualities She Craves

When it comes to the best dating advice for men, it all boils down to recognizing what she craves and how to give that to her. However, before we dive into that dating advice we must acknowledge two important things. First, this article assumes that the man seeking dating advice seeks a woman, particularly a feminine woman, for dating. This advice would look very different if the man was seeking a more masculine partner. 

Second, no matter what a woman might want in a man, no matter what the dating advice is, every man must first and foremost remain true to himself when he dates. To state that even more clearly, you should not follow this dating advice for men if you cannot remain authentic in doing so. 

Authenticity trumps everything when it comes to dating. Be authentic no matter what. 

The feminine and masculine in dating

Now let’s say a little more about the type of woman this advice will be most effective with. If you find yourself truly attracted to the beauty, light, and joy of the feminine, if you desire the chemistry of polarity in a relationship, if you are drawn to a woman who will allow herself to receive you and let you contribute to putting a smile on her face, this list is for you. 

With that being said, some men may react to the very first quality listed. You may even be tempted to quit reading. Yet, if you can let your curiosity get the best of you, you may discover that what you thought was masculinity was simply false bravado. You might discover that true awakened masculinity has more depth, capacity and honor than you might possibly imagine. 

To reassure you, if you’re reading this, that genuine masculine, no doubt, at some level lives within you. 

Conscious dating advice for men attracted to feminine women

As you explore this list of qualities a feminine woman craves in dating, you will no doubt notice that many of the experiences she desires stem from the polarity, or opposite nature, of masculine and feminine energies. She wants to experience something in the man she dates that’s quintessentially different from the way she experiences herself. 

She craves… 

1. Conscious Masculinity 

A truly feminine woman, a woman who finds herself turned on by masculine energy, will hence want to date a man who has access to, who can embody and express, his own masculine qualities. Even a woman who appears to have more masculine qualities on the surface, can beneath her conditioning and protective mechanisms, desire a man who can show up powerfully – consciously powerful. 

When it comes to dating advice for men, masculine embodiment would have you pursue her. The masculine will ask the feminine out. She will want you to consciously ask for her number. Even though it may seem like a respectful gesture, a feminine woman doesn’t want you to hand you her card. If she has to call you that means she has to become the pursuer; and her inner feminine wants to be pursued. With that being said, when you ask for her number be respectful and accept a no with kindness if that is her answer.  

In short, court her. 

2. Presence

In intimate relationships there is nothing a feminine woman wants in her masculine partner more than presence. She wants it at dinner. She wants it in kisses. She hungers for it when you’re making love to her. Your capacity to be present actually sets the stage for all of her other desires. 

Whether conscious of it or not, a feminine being is feeling your ability and willingness to be present from the first moments of your connection – whether you have noticed her across the room, called her on the phone, or approached her at the friend’s party. She will be aware of your presence throughout your dates. If you’ve been dating for awhile, she’ll begin to notice it between dates as well.

Your presence comes from your willingness and ability to be in your own body, your ability to stay in the present moment, as well as your awareness of the woman you are with and her experience. It’s also your presence to, and awareness of, your environment, which, you’ll see in a moment, relates to your ability to help her feel safe. 

In short, be here now. 

3. Attentiveness

This desire dovetails off the previous one. When you have the ability to be present, to notice, and seek, the details of the woman you are with, she will feel like she matters. Any, every, feminine woman wants to know you are into her – all of her, not just her body. She’s noticing whether her well being and comfort matter to you. (Hint: if you don’t have quality #2, presence, you’ll have difficulty being aware of what’s happening for her, and hence difficulty being attentive.) 

This is not about you being responsible for her or about her abdicating her own power or self-agency, but the feminine simply likes, and actually needs, to feel cherished. In your dating, she’ll like your attentiveness. Then as the two of you might grow toward a relationship, her need to feel like she truly matters to you, consistently matters to you, will increase. 

In the beginning, the best dating advice for men with regard to attentiveness is to acknowledge her, listen to her, attend to her desires, and kiss her well. Your attentiveness means you truly get to know her. And, if you don’t have a genuine interest in getting to know who she really is, you might be on a date with the wrong person.

In short, show her you’re interested. (Only if you genuinely are.)

4. Self-Trust

A feminine woman wants to feel, in every cell of her body, that she can trust the one she’s with. That means that you have to be trustworthy. Said another way, you have to be worthy of her trust. How do you become worthy of her trust? First and foremost, being truly trustworthy to anyone, no matter who it is, requires that you trust yourself. 

Trusting yourself calls on your integrity and your honor. Self-trust leans on your self-respect. Self trust means that you trust yourself to handle situations that come up. It arises within you when you believe in yourself and who you are in the world. Trusting yourself doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes or ever wish you’d done something differently. It simply means again, that you trust yourself to walk through those challenging moments well, consciously

Self-trust, self-respect, and confidence all intersect within you. When you hold these as core expressions and elements of who you are and how you show up, you will become massively attractive to feminine women. When these qualities come together consistently, not perfectly, in a masculine man, a feminine woman’s heart can melt. The absence of these can actually be a true turn off. 

When it comes to dating advice for men, self-trust is essential. It lies at the heart of your confidence as a man and your skill as a lover.

In short, believe in yourself. 

5. Protectiveness

You can ask any woman who is attracted to men and she will invariably tell you that in order to open up, in order to fall in love, in order to make love fully, she needs to feel safe with the man she is with. Yes of course she is a grown up, and you obviously don’t need to be, nor will she want you to be, your date’s guardian. Yet, guiding her away from the curb as you walk on the sidewalk, standing between her and any activity that might feel threatening, walking her to her car after a date all show that you are present and attentive to her well being. These simple attentive actions make her feel safe. 

And, since we are talking about the best dating advice for men, we should acknowledge that the man who is contributing to her feeling of safety becomes more attractive, much more attractive.

Similarly, although not exactly protective, you can also contribute to the safety of a woman you are dating by not pushing her in any way she isn’t completely comfortable with. Have respect for and honor her boundaries. 

Your word also contributes to her feeling of safety. Do you do the things you say you’ll do? If not, she won’t feel as safe and she won’t be as available to you. The less safe she feels, the less open she’ll be to your interest. 

In short, if you like her enough to ask her out, pay attention to what makes her feel safe. 

6. Direction

If you are dating for the purpose of seeking a long term relationship, then knowing who you are and having a sense of where you’re heading in life will be meaningful for most feminine women. One of the things women frequently consider when choosing a partner is whether the life she desires and envisions for herself aligns with where it seems the man she is dating is headed in his life. If she can’t see herself in that picture, it’s hard for her to develop a depth of connection and intimacy. If there is no picture to see because you have no significant direction in your life, the feminine will definitely have difficulty leaning into a connection with you. 

Additionally, while the conscious feminine certainly does not want to be controlled or dominated, the feminine does appreciate a man who takes the lead. She’s drawn to a man who has plans and enjoys making plans, especially plans he considers her in. Your ability to plan again contributes to her feeling of safety because she knows details have been handled and she doesn’t need to focus her attention on them. This allows her to relax and receive more, which brings out more of the radiance most masculine men find so attractive. 

In short, have a plan.

7. Authenticity

Whether we’re talking about dating advice for men, dating advice for women, dating advice for divorced men, or any other kind of dating advice, no list of dating tips would be complete without the word authenticity. One of the fastest ways a man can turn off a woman he’s dating happens when he starts to make her happiness more important than his own. Yes, it’s true that masculine men love the opportunity to put a smile on a woman’s face. Yet, men who are less secure in themselves often will try to do anything to make her happy so she’ll stay interested. This is what we call self abandonment.  

This is not sexy. Your confidence is sexy. Your trustworthiness is sexy. She may not always like it, but a conscious feminine woman likes you more when you speak the truth. She’ll respect your authentic “no” much more than a “nice guy” move to do what she wants when you’re not really into it. 

Beyond that, we all fall in love with authenticity. You could offer no greater gift to the woman you take on a date than to give her a view into the real you. If she likes the real you, you’re golden. If she doesn’t, you’re still golden because you do not want to start a relationship with a woman who isn’t really into, and who doesn’t respect, the true you. Ultimately being anything but you will backfire in exhaustion, resentment, and eventually breakups in the long run. 

In short, authenticity is sexy. Very. 

8. Availability

    If you’re going to date, you want to make sure you have space in your life for a woman. That means that you have time to court her, you have time to spend with her, you have time to stay in touch with your own feelings and desires as the dating unfolds. 

    Your availability also means that your life has come into a place where you want to welcome someone else into it. Ask yourself, do you genuinely, at this point in time, want to share your life and your future with someone? If the answer is no, and you’re looking for more than a hookup, you may not be ready to date yet.  

    Being available for dating also says that you have an open heart. Having an open heart indicates that you’re not carrying baggage from your past that makes it want to close. You aren’t bitter at your ex. You aren’t looking for someone who doesn’t do the things you didn’t like in your ex. 

    Finally, being available means you have an emotional capacity to feel the vulnerability required to develop a deep bonding relationship. You’ll feel a sense of readiness to commit, when you find the right person. 

    In short, make space for her. 

    9. Emotional Consciousness

    When it comes to dating advice for men, this quality might be the one that creates the most discomfort and challenge. Yet if you want to find a long term relationship with a feminine woman, then you must develop a relationship with emotions – both yours and hers. Any long term intimate relationship requires emotional consciousness because emotions literally become the language of intimacy. Love births itself from emotional connection, and the emotional vulnerability that accompanies it. 

    The feminine feels. She wants to be felt and, yes, she wants to know how you feel. While we all feel emotions, the expression of men’s emotions can be different than the expression of women’s emotions, and you will be served to recognize the similarities and differences. 

    In short, develop your capacity to feel. 

    10. Communication Skills

    For most people dating happens as a means to an end, a long term partnership. If we want to start off any potential relationship on solid ground, then we need to know how to communicate well. You want to be able to express yourself to her – your needs, your wants, your desires, your turn ons, your turn offs. You also want to create a space, through your words and questions, that invites her to be real with you too.

    Next, when it comes to good communication dating advice for men, you want to pick up the phone and call her more frequently. Conversation will feel much more meaningful to the feminine than a series of texts. Although sometimes fun and flirty, texting is transactional and the feminine wants connection. 

    The truth is that if you can’t communicate well, any relationship that might develop from your dating will struggle. The first real test of communication skills happens when two people start to explore sexuality intimacy. Having a good sex life from the start depends on your ability to communicate about topics many people don’t feel comfortable talking about. So if you want to find out if you and the person you’re dating have good communication skills, talk about sex before you have it. No, this doesn’t mean sharing sexual innuendos. It means talking about desires, boundaries, safe sex, birth control, and the like. While that may not sound sexy, your lovemaking will be much sexier and more satisfying for her when she knows you can talk, even when the topic is uncomfortable. 

    If you want to score real points, talk about what makes her feel safe sexually. Don’t wait for her to bring up the safe sex conversation. Let your masculine lead and start the discussion that will make things better for both of you once you find your way between the sheets. 

    To add a little spice on the top, many feminine women find a good conversation sexy. Yes, she can be turned on by your ability to have deep interactions. 

    In short, talk. 

    Dating can be a ton of fun. For many it’s the start of extraordinary love. Yet, when we don’t feel confident it can be a bit intimidating, and sometimes painful. Still, the wisdom to make dating a truly special – and successful – experience exists. Take your time integrating the advice offered here. 

    To keep things super simple, if we were to summarize this dating advice for men we would say two things. First, get familiar with and honor the polarity dynamics of masculine and feminine energy. Second, make sure you have the capacity and desire to relate authentically, because romantic relationships are all about the relating. 

    Finally, if you want to take your dating to the next level, then you might want to explore the definitive guide to conscious dating

    Since 2006, highly conscious men and women, with a commitment to extraordinary relationships, have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy to find and cultivate Soul Partnerships from their bedrooms to their boardrooms. Ecstatic Intimacy believes in coveted relationships, for all. 

    You too, are invited…

    *At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.

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    1. Marilou on May 11, 2023 at 7:34 pm

      This is such a well written article. I almost think the dynamics of dating are over looked by both men and women in the new internet age.

      It’s truly hard to find a man who embodies masculine energy and can express it…yes that is so hot! Women enjoy the manly men, they want to embrace the entire essence of all that a man has to offer. For clarity, I can’t speak for all women and I know I used a broad brush here so forgive me if you were offended.
      I would enjoy seeing more articles such as this…

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