Self-Love is

Embracing You: Self Love is the Source of Soulmate Love

Are you living the antithesis of self love?  In my experience, most of the population is – men and women alike.

Do you judge yourself?  Criticize yourself?

Do you see and acknowledge every little flaw in what you do?

Do you try to ignore, deny, or hide the parts of you that you think others might not like or approve of?

Are you your own worst critic?

Do you wonder if you’re really enough for love?

Do you try to pretend you don’t need anything?

Do you feel guilty for your desires – for relaxation, for play, around the house, or in bed?

Have you lost sight of what really makes you happy?

If you said yes, to even one of those questions… then yes, you are living the antithesis of self love.

From there, it’s also probably safe to guess, that you feel like you’d do just about anything to have the “hit” of pleasure from someone else’s approval, praise, recognition.

I’d bet you’re hungry to be loved, just the way you are… for exactly who you are.

And, you’re probably tired of trying to do the right thing, be the right thing, and put on the happy / smart / confident / I’ve-got-it-together face… especially when you know it’s an act.

Here’s the problem… You’ll never find that love out there.  

Have you noticed that even when someone praises you or acknowledges what you do, you’re usually the first to point out how it wasn’t enough and explain exactly what you should have done better.

You see, as the old saying goes, “You can’t love another until you love yourself.”  Self-love comes before relationship love.


Without the love, honor and acceptance of you… ALL of you… you’ll never believe that someone else actually loves you.  If you don’t believe they love you, you’ll never actually feel their love.


No matter how much someone pours love in your direction, it will never find an opening to get through the thick wall of self-judging armor.

You have to embrace you…

Embracing is the root of love…

Acceptance is the root of embracing…

Acknowledging is the root of acceptance…

Awareness is the root of acknowledging.

You’ve just gotten a glimpse at the Diamond of Sacred You, the Diamond of Self-love that I share in my Activating Soul Love program.

You see, self-love is not something that just happens.  Self-love arises as a step-by-step moment-by-moment relationship with you.

The Source of Soulmate Love – Self Love

Accepting and embracing you makes self-love not just a possibility but a reality.  This intrinsic – yes, it’s actually intrinsic – love of self sources the spring of soulmate love.  Soulmate love pours forth like an unlimited natural spring – and under that spring lies the well of love in you.

To live in love, you have to honor you. 

You must embrace all of you. You must embrace your truth.

You must embrace, without judgement, how you feel, what you desire, what you fear, what turns you on and what turns you off.

You must embrace every part of you, even the parts you think should be different.

Know that they “shouldn’t” be different than they are, even the parts you know “could” be better.  These parts, most especially, need to be wrapped in your own loving arms, just as you would a child struggling.

How much you’re juggling on your “plate” needs to be embraced… as does the number on the scale, the amount in the bank.

Otherwise you suffer.  When you suffer you hurt, you get angry, you’re stressed, you’re controlling, or maybe you’re bitchy.

In the rejection, rather than embrace, of you and your life circumstances, love goes AWOL. 

Byron Katie, got it right in her book, “Loving What Is.”  Love what is.

You don’t need to understand or know why ‘what is’ is.  You job is to simply welcome it.

You need not make excuses to you or anyone else for who you are or how you show up.  Your excuses are an attempt to justify you and your experience to you, through the guise of another.  You need only justify what you don’t fully accept.

To honor your needs, wants and desires, you must have boundaries.  Embrace your boundaries.  You do not need to explain or justify these either.  Simply honor them as your truth.  When you don’t embrace your boundaries, love dies, resentment builds.

You… your love of you… wrapped in a warm embrace of love… makes romantic love not only possible, it nourishes it into life. 

And, if the thought of wrapping you in a warm embrace of love makes you a little bit queasy in the stomach… it’s a call to love you more…. and more… and more… and, yes, more.  If that’s scary or intimidating or downright nauseating… then consider an Igniting Soul Love session with me to open this critical door to the source of love.

Here’s to you loving you…

In love, light and ecstasy,

Joanna Shakti

*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.

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  1. Alvaro Cadavid on January 25, 2019 at 6:08 pm

    You are 100 % right (as always)!
    My Best Wishes in Your Birthday!

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