Erect, Penetrating… Masterful
I recently read a blog post by another female relationship coach about what consciously awake women want from men and, although everything in the article didn’t resonate with me, the topic inspired this.
Before I dive in with my perspective on what conscious (feminine) women want, ask yourself… (Knowing and acknowledging your own beliefs, preferences and desires goes a LONG way toward attracting and manifesting that in your world.) So, whether you’re a woman who desires a conscious man as a lover or husband or you’re a conscious man who needs employees, business partner, employers…
Ask yourself how you would describe a masterful man you’d want to make love to or do business with.
What characteristics would he have that you respect and admire? How does he carry himself? What does he stand for? How does he show up? What’s his response when things go awry? How dependable is he? Do you trust him? How much? What has you trust him?
Seriously… Men, if you want to be a masterful man, how do you answer those questions? Women, if you want a masterful man (or more than one… lover, business, friends, or clients) in your life, then…
I suggest getting real with yourself and answering those questions for you.
Now that you’ve answered them… Men, ask yourself, “Am I being that man? Am I showing up the way a man I respect and trust would show up?” If you are, fantastic! If not, ask yourself, “What’s holding me back? What’s in the way?” Are there excuses? Are you blaming life circumstances? Do you not know how? Have you decided to be lazy for awhile? Did someone tell you that you weren’t those things and you believed them?
Women, on the other hand, do you give the men in your life space to show up? Or do you anticipate that they won’t and step in and take over? You’ve probably heard me say it before and it’s worth saying again. So many feminine women, myself included, thought taking control, taking charge in our relationships was the way to security and having what we wanted in life. Unfortunately, most of us just become more frustrated when we take charge of, over, around, in spite of the men we love. We basically say, “I don’t trust you. You can’t do it, so I’m going to.” Two things happened. First, the men say, “Fine. You do it. If I can’t make you happy, have it yourself.” Second, our words and actions that speak distrust, say “I can’t depend on you,” “I can do it better than you.” Women, you take that man down a notch. The way men can hurt women with their physical strength, women can hurt men with their verbal strength.
We emasculated the very men that we wanted to be masterfully masculine for us.
Now I’m not saying every man shows up. They don’t. I’m inviting the men today… men that have the guts…that sense who they are… to step up, to step into their power. And, like anything else in romantic relationship, it takes partnership. We both contribute to the happiness or the pain of a relationship.
So men, why did I pick the words erect and penetrating?
You can obviously see the sexual connotation and the words reflect how a masterful man shows up day-to-day outside the bedroom. (And, before I go on, this is not to say, men, you never have off days or that women don’t crave your vulnerability, we do. We simply want the masterful man we can lean on, we can trust, we can depend on to keep his word to show up the vast majority of the time. It turns us on. It makes us wet.)
Confident is Erect
When you’re confident men, you stand tall. You move toward your goal directly. You know who you are and what you stand for. It’s that standing tall, confident, and clear that I call the “walking erection” of a masterful man. Get the visual?
Directed is Penetrating
When you know who you are and where you’re going, you can hardly help but penetrate the world. It’s as if your inner being takes over and you’re moving forward. You’re commanding attention… of your lover, your potential date, your collegues, even the clients you want.
One of the powers of a masterful man is his direction. When a man knows his purpose and what he has to contribute to the world, he masters what he sets his mind to.
Sure set backs happen and, the masterful man picks himself up and keeps moving forward. He keeps penetrating toward his goal. What’s your goal? What’s your purpose?
Drive is Penetrating
Another power of a masculine man is his drive. Does he have the energy, the commitment, the stamina to go for what he wants? To see his dreams come into reality? Does he quit, or set it aside for tomorrow, at the first chance at adversity? The masculine generates results… This is the assertive, action-oriented aspect of masculine power.
These three traits together with the other masculine powers create a man’s potency in the world. Potency means, according to Merriam-Webster, the power to influence someone or the strength / effectiveness of something. In this case, that something is you, the masterful man within you and you have the power, the potency to change the world.
Want to be more masterful?
Check out What is Sacred Sexuality…
Here’s to the awesome men out there! Thank you!
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.