Have Women become Addicted to the Masculine?
As women stepped out into the working world decades ago, we thought our lives would improve. We thought life would become easier when we didn’t have to depend on anyone and we had all the power and influence of men. We didn’t realize that our biology, our instincts, and our feminine nature would actually trap us between two worlds – the world of the masculine and the world of the feminine.
While women used to be responsible for the house, the kids, and our husbands. Now we are responsible for all that plus multi-million dollar budgets, departments, programs, and clients who depend on us. Our inherent feminine nature drives us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders while never stopping to rest or acknowledge ourselves. We keep pushing through and moving forward.
We discovered the passion and thrill of equality, paychecks and influence. Then we found ourselves years down the road exhausted, overwhelmed and unfulfilled. When we entered the business world, we realized softness, friendships, and femininity would not cut it in the dog-eat-dog world of quarterly results, project deadlines, client expectations, annual goals, and boardroom meetings. Many of us did whatever we could to find power, focus, assertiveness, confidence, rigor, and stiff upper lips even when they didn’t feel the slightest bit natural so that we would be recognized, respected, and promoted in the masculine culture of business.
At the same time, we can’t really complain that business had a masculine culture. Business was predominantely created, managed and maintained by men from the days of our earliest ancestors. As women joined the corporate playing field, they felt like they had to contort themselves to fit the mold, and men had no reason to change just so women would be comfortable in their world.
As women grew accustomed to these distorted masculine personas, many of us, myself included, decided that we liked them. Our new found masculine energy gave us power, respect, safety, and control. We no longer had to listen to men’s opinions, let alone follow them. We no longer had to feel dependent. Life was looking up!
Sadly, many of us donned these masculine personas as masks over our natural (also innately powerful) feminine essences and pretty soon we forgot they weren’t really natural, that they were masks. Wearing our masks, we finally had choice, independence, and power, as well as respect and recognition. This is not to say that some of the masculine skills we developed, such as confidence, focus, strength, and assertiveness are not natural. They most certainly are. Yet, when women make those traits their primary form of expression and experienced their, they often forgot about the feminine ones that have served us for centuries.
We now have millions of women walking around the planet energetically feeling like men. Just ask most men and they will tell you they miss our femininity. They will say that our femininity makes us sexy and attractive. It’s this femininity that makes them want to date and marry us. When we act and feel like men, they enjoy hanging out with us, just like their buddies, but they don’t want to marry someone who feels like one of the guys.
So why did we become addicted to masculinity? It showed us a new way of life and gave us confidence to stand on our own. Many women, again including myself, feel or felt an intense fear that they would fail, lose jobs, be seen as weak or dependent, and no longer be recognized as powerful. It is that driving fear that keeps us addicted.
This is an invitation for women to find a natural and healthy balance of the masculine and feminine energies within themselves. This is not to say the two energies should be equal. The answer is to find the natural and authentic expression of each within you.
In love, light and ecstasy,
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.