If you’ve ever loved, you’ve felt the ache in your heart of disappointment, letdown, hurt feelings, or even betrayal. Unless you’re one of the rare few who met the love of their life in their early teens (Yes, this does happen… I know couples like this) then you’ve likely known the deepest pain of breakup… even divorce… the pain of the magical love turned painful or even bitter.
Surprisingly, many don’t realize that our romantic walls of protection were often erected long before we ever thought about our first kiss. Yes… let me say that again. Most of our hearts were protected and guarded well before we ever felt our first flutter of romantic love.
This week in the Passionate You Program we’ve been exploring ”Opening your Heart to Loving and Being Loved” or in other words, healing your heartache. We, of course, do a powerful apologetic healing between men and women, which leaves many in tears. That process begins to heal the divide… the hurt and damage… that has occurred for centuries between the genders. It heals each individual and it heals our collective consciousness.
What shocks so many, and it happens every time, men and women realize that the first people to create heartache were their parents. And, it doesn’t matter male or female, mom or dad, the walls still went up to protect us and keep the love sealed off. In one way or another, many of us experienced our first heartbreak with mom, dad or both.
As much as you might not want to hear this… and as much as you might say, ”She’s crazy. I’m over that. That doesn’t matter.” I can tell you after more than a decade of sharing this work with thousands, it’s the truth… the truth deeply hidden and stuffed away. We have to heal our relationship with our parents if we want powerful relationships with a beloved.
Until you’re ready to take that old hurt out of it’s… maybe long forgotten… hiding place, dust it off, heal it, release the ache, and drop the walls of protection it created… you will continue to sabotage your romantic love. I know. I’ve been there. I still find old parts of early heartaches and when I do, I know how important it is to heal them.
If you find loving and being loved less than simple, even challenging, if you hold back in any way from fully loving and being loved…
It just might be time for some heartache healing.
How do you do that? It’s simple… and not always easy.
You begin by being honest that it hurt… you let go of the old feelings and emotions that you’ve kept tucked away in the cells of your body, you forgive, and you take down the walls you’ve erected around your heart.
If you want help, I’m here.
With love, light and ecstasy,
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.