High Value Man: It’s Not About the Money

The idea of the high value man has been corrupted by an external set of standards that have absolutely nothing to do with what truly makes a man high value – to a woman, to himself, or to the world. The most commonly known definition of a high value man rests on the idea that high value men are high net worth men. The premise of the high value man supposes that women select their partners based on external worth, not internal value. 

While we can’t argue that women consider finances when choosing a life partner, what matters more to her heart is who he is, how he shows up in the world, and how her heart feels in his presence. As a couple steps into life partnership or marriage, women do need a level of security in order to relax, trust, and surrender in her feminine energy. Yet, the numbers don’t matter nearly as much to her as the feelings do. With this urban definition of a high value man, his value depends on his performance and bank account. This perspective does nothing but damage men and disrespect the hearts of women. 

Once you understand what truly makes a man high value, you will see that being a real high value man serves the world. Loving and being loved by a high value man feels safe and deeply alive. High value men (and women) make the most trustworthy and dependable companions, partners, and colleagues. A genuinely high value man automatically becomes more available for deeper love and connection that feminine women crave. 

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What is a high value man?

To accurately answer the question, what is the definition of a high value man we must consider two different perspectives, an internal one and an external one. In researching what makes a high value man you’ll more often than not find definitions based on external trappings of financial status and material success. Yet, when it comes to the high value man traits women desire, while the feminine may dream of wealth, love matters more. 

A feminine woman cares most about who he is and how he shows up in the world. Fortunately, a man who shows up powerfully in life and love will usually have established himself financially in a respected way congruent with who he is. Remember money never ultimately makes anyone happy. It cannot make a woman happy if her man isn’t there – heart, mind, body and soul – to enjoy it with her. 

Specifically when it comes to being a high value man, your value comes from within. It’s an internal personal “game”. Being a high value man has nothing to do with how others perceive you. Only you can know your worth. This is not about arrogant superiority or boasting. It’s a calm centered knowing of exactly who you are and of what matters most to you. It’s a knowing of what matters so deeply that if you’re like most men, you’d be willing to give your life for it. Yes, masculine men hold this much conscious passion. 

Knowing that your value and worthiness arise from within, placing the perception of your worth on another actually turns into neediness and dependence. When we believe our value is defined externally we will seek it in experiences and people. Yet, external valuation never works because you won’t believe or trust when it comes from outside yourself. The validation of you and your inherent worth must arise within you. You have to see it in yourself before you’ll accept an expression of value from another. 

So what is a high value man, really? A high value man is a man who has walked the path into his own truth, his own purpose, his own unique presence. He realizes that no one else can be who he is or do what he can. He knows the value of his uniqueness and that the value comes from within and not from some external measurement or perception. In this embodiment, a high value man garners great trust, deep respect, and true loyalty. He makes a contribution to his relationship and to the world by being the greatest version of himself. 

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High value man traits 

This list of signs of a high value man won’t look typical. This list focuses on internal embodied experiences and his personal relationship with himself, instead of what his life may look like circumstantially on the outside. A man might appear successful on the outside, yet if he has no emotional availability, if he can’t get vulnerable, or he doesn’t understand how to be intimate beyond the physical, he will not be high value in the eyes of an awakened conscious woman.  

Remember, it’s not about proving value. A high value man has absolutely nothing to prove. As we said, he knows his own value because of the authentic qualities he embodies within himself, that others feel and rely on. 

A genuine high value man… 

1. Knows who he is. He’s cultivated deep self awareness and can tell you his strengths and his weaknesses authentically. 

2. Knows what he stands for in the world. He’s done the work to understand his soul mission and lives it in the world. 

3. Feels his worth from within. He has come to realize that success and value come from presence and consciousness not accumulation and accolades. 

4. Knows his limits. While he’s willing to ride his edges and stretch beyond perceived limitations, he’s willing to acknowledge and accept a limitation for the good of all.  

5. Has boundaries. Because a high value man has a strong relationship with himself, he doesn’t sell out to others expectations. He knows, expresses, and holds his authentic yeses and no’s.  

6. Tells the truth. Honesty matters to him. He knows that pretending, projecting, and performing only diminishes his power. He speaks the truth kindly, even when it may hurt.

7. Stands for what he believes in. Even when it’s uncomfortable, even when others may not like it, the high value man won’t collapse.He isn’t willing to settle and certainly doesn’t sell out for success or love.

8. Holds Integrity. He stays in integrity with himself first and foremost. From this knowing of self he has integrity in all his interactions which in turn builds honor and loyalty. 

9. Is confident. He trusts himself consistently (not constantly, because we all have insecure days and moments). His rooted trust allows him to take conscious risks as he steps into greater and greater expressions of himself. 

10. Has emotional intelligence. The depth and value of divine masculine embodiment has its roots and strength in the integration of the yin or feminine energy within. A high value man knows men’s emotions have value and has learned to feel and express them. 

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How to be a high value man

You can’t become a high value man, you have to realize you already are high value. In other words, trying to be a high value man will certainly fail. It’s impossible to do anything to become high value. You must discover that worth within. Chasing external expressions or circumstances that you think will make you valuable actually weakens you. When you believe external results give you power, respect, or worth you will have created your own Kryptonite. 

When you believe external results give you power, respect, or worth you will have created your own Kryptonite. 

Again, you become a high value man not because you do something, earn something, or accomplish something. High value comes from being who you are –  fully, completely. It’s about discovering, owning, and trusting your unique inherent soul expression. 

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Purpose matters

It’s about realizing you have a purpose and a mission here in this lifetime that absolutely no one but you can fulfill, because no one else can do or be what you uniquely were created to do and be. You are inherently irreplaceable and hence priceless. 

This is not some airy fairy concept. It is absolute truth that the unique expression that came into form at your birth has never happened before and never will arise again. Your soul that lives through your body has a distinct frequency that we need in the world right now. 

Unfortunately, not every man has the courage, commitment, or determination to discover who he truly is and why he’s here living at this moment in time. Yet a man who takes himself through that inner discovery process, steps into his highest worth. 

A genuinely soulful high value man will accomplish much. He will make a contribution to humanity. He will be deeply desired by the feminine. But the accomplishments, contributions, and attractiveness are byproducts of his journey to find his worth within, not the path to it. 

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When you find your true value you will never again question or doubt who you are. You will have the capacity to feel, love, and contribute authentically, without self abandonment. You won’t be caught by the myths of alpha males and you’ll integrate the feminine within such that you also receive and surrender for highest good. 

Remember that nothing external can give you value and in trying to find value externally you will create a dependency on performance that inevitably you cannot sustain. Leaning into the innate presence that can never be taken from you begins the process. You reveal your authentic presence by removing everything that has you hide, play small, or compromise your authenticity and integrity for anybody or anything.

Trying to be of high value is a sell out of who you are, a sell out of your soul. Men who attempt to be high value, by being what others expect them to be, are a dime a dozen. If you are being what others want you to be, you are not being you, which means innate “value” goes down even further. 

You, uniquely, are the value. 

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Since 2006, highly conscious men and women, with a commitment to extraordinary relationships, have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy to find and cultivate Soul Partnerships from their bedrooms to their boardrooms. Ecstatic Intimacy believes in coveted relationships, for all. 

You too, are invited…