How Do You Know You Love Someone: 27 Telltale Signs

Falling in love doesn’t always make itself obvious and sometimes we have to ask the question, how do you know you love someone? Or, maybe we think we’re falling in love, but we’ve never quite felt the way we do now and we’re not sure what it means. Falling in love definitely doesn’t always have all the rainbows and fairy tales we’ve been led to believe accompany it. 

In reality, true love may not always be easy to spot in ourselves. Our mind can tell us we should know how we feel, right? Well, maybe not. Depending on what’s actually happening in your head and heart, you might not always see the signs you’re actually falling in love. 

But oh the dreams we dream of being in love. We imagine the wonder, the bliss, the easy quiet joy. We imagine the passion, the playfulness, and the companionship to share the precious moments of life. Yet, new love isn’t always that wondrous or clear, even though it’s real. We may truly be falling in love but still question it, and that means the question “How do you know you love someone?” can run incessantly through our heads, as we try to sort out “Am I in love or not?” 

While love can come fast and unquestionably at times, it can also be elusive in its presentation. Many internal stories can stand in the way of our recognition of love. That just means you may need to take some time to really explore personally how you know you love someone. Just because you’re having fun together doesn’t necessarily equate itself to love, but it certainly could be. Let’s start by exploring the blocks to knowing if you love someone.  

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How to know if you love someone? First, get beyond the barriers. 

Sometimes you can struggle to know if you love someone because you’ve actually, usually unknowingly and unconsciously, erected barriers that attempt to block love from your life – even when a part of you has actively sought it or even desperately wanted it. If we’ve been hurt in the past or suffered a great loss of love, a part of us may not want to fall in love again. A part of us may look for all the reasons we shouldn’t love someone, even while a deeper aspect of ourselves has already fallen deeply in love. 

In the case where a part of us doesn’t want to get hurt again, this often obscures many of the signs that we are in fact falling in love. These blindspots can make us wonder, is this love? If any part of us is afraid of the possibility of pain in love, we may end up fighting the process of falling in love, and that can lead to confusion for us and the romantic interest in our lives. 

Many of the reasons we block our own view of new love arise from fears of loss, rejection, or abandonment. We may have lost trust in love, in men, in women, in relationships. We may not trust ourselves and our own ability to make a good choice in love. We may have stopped believing in lasting love. Or maybe we’ve settled in the past and have told ourselves we’ll never do that again, yet now we hold such unrealistic expectations that no one can ever seem to live up to our standards. All of these barriers, and many like them, will leave us wondering how to know you love someone, simply because our fears create clouds of uncertainty.

Now that you know some of the ways that you might be avoiding or ignoring the signs you’re falling in love, we can offer a whole variety of ways to help you answer the question: how do you know you love someone?

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How do you know you love someone? Second, connect with the experience. 

When falling in love is more obvious, when answers to the question “how to know if you love someone” seem less confusing, you will more quickly recognize the presence of love in you. 

On the other hand, if you sensed some of the barriers to love we mentioned above in yourself, the discernment may take more time. While you may recognize aspects of what’s in these next few paragraphs, the real insights may not come until you review the specific details of the 27 signs you’re falling in love in the next section. Let’s start with the felt sense of how you know you love someone. 

You may know you love someone through the frequent presence of emotions like joy, peace, and even ecstasy. These pleasurable experiences may feel as if they pervade your heart, mind, body, and spirit – your whole being. They may even have a soulful quality.  

You may literally feel a sense of falling in. It’s more energetic than physical but still has a very real presence in your being. If you love someone, it often feels like a sense of surrendering to something greater than yourself that lives within and between you. For a feminine being, it can feel like a melting from the inside out. For masculine beings it can feel like your hard outer shell has somehow softened into a tenderness that might both surprise and sometimes scare you with its power. 

You know if you love someone when you notice a naturalness in your companionship and that leads to both a deepening of emotional and physical intimacy. You’ll feel safe in their presence and this safety opens you to each other. With this, as you fall in love, you’ll allow the messy imperfect parts of yourself and your life to be seen. And, sometimes how you know you love someone is because you feel accepted and loved by them. 

Another way to know if you love someone shows up as you navigate the first disagreements or upsets in your relationship. You just might be falling in love when a part of you gets scared or triggered, and yet while some part of you may want to run away, you stay and work it out together. When you disagree,  you’re moved to sit in the discomfort and find reconnection. With that your connection gets stronger and you set the bonds of love in your relationship foundation. You prioritize authentic apologies and forgiveness. 

Finally, as you answer for yourself the question, how to know if you love someone, you’ll likely find a playful joy in your relationship where natural teasing and silliness become a regular part of your time together. You’ll likely find yourself willing to risk the embarrassment of looking silly in your partner’s presence. 

When you realize and acknowledge the love in you, your mind starts to quiet. 

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27 signs you’re falling in love 

Let’s now turn our attention to the very specific experiential examples of day-to-day life that let you know if you love someone. As you go through these 27 signs you’re falling in love, pay particular attention to the difference between love and lust. Some people mistakenly confuse and conflate love with lust or infatuation which often leads to struggling or failed relationships.  

While sexual chemistry plays a necessary part in a lasting romantic partnership, it does not play the lead role as you’ll see below. When we put chemistry, lust, and desire at the center of our choice in a partner, over the long run, we will usually find we lack the necessary ingredients for sustained connection. A relationship needs strong roots in love accompanied by a healthy, but not over the top, sexual attraction. These roots in love set the foundation that supports a couple in navigating the realities of life they will certainly encounter if the relationship is to last the test of time.

Here are the telltale signs you’re actually falling in love… 

1. They make you smile in a unique and very personal way
2. You look at them with soft eyes of wonder or awe
3. Your heart literally warms when you think about them
4. Spending time with them brings you joy
5. You wish you were together when you’re apart
6. Affection and touch flow between you naturally and it feels good in your body. 
7. You feel a sense of centered, calm excitement when you see them (vs. a rushing passion of desire)
8. Their mere presence in your world calls you to be a fuller better version of yourself.
9. Your life and your surroundings feel brighter and seem to light up more.
10. You have a desire to make love together and experience union of your hearts, bodies and souls. (vs. off the charts sexual chemistry that takes the lead in your connection.) 
11. They naturally become a part of your day to day world. 
12. You want what’s best for them even when it’s not what you want for you (But this definitely doesn’t turn into repeated self-sacrifice.)
13. You begin to unconditionally accept them with their flaws. (And, if you can’t see the “flaws” yet, you’re not necessarily in love. Remember we all have human vulnerabilities, challenges and unconscious behaviors. Falling in love embraces those too.)
14. Their wellbeing matters to you. 
15. You feel a sense of being “at home” in their presence and in their arms. 
16. You find yourself letting down your guard and revealing your deeper vulnerabilities because you feel safe with them.
17. You want to introduce them to your friends and family and you want your loved ones to like your new love.
18. Giddy excitement turns into deep grounded contentment.
19. Compliments for each other arise naturally and frequently. 
20. You find yourself respecting and admiring your new masculine partner or cherishing and adoring a new feminine partner. 
21. Your heart opens to their expressions and offerings of love. You might just feel your heart melt.
22. You listen deeply to each other beyond the surface layers of your personalities. 
23. You feel a soul connection as if you’re divinely destined to be together. 
24. You see or sense yourselves growing old together. 
25. You work through challenges or upsets authentically without self abandonment and the harm it causes relationships. 
26. The words “I love you” just want to slip out of your mouth and eventually do. (And, saying I love you and not hearing it back doesn’t mean that they aren’t falling in love with you.) 

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With these deep insights into how to know if you love someone, remember the answer to the question isn’t always clearly revealed when you want it. You may need to take the time to consider blocks you’ve built to love as well as any part of you that may feel afraid to love again. And, of course, to know if you love someone you definitely do not need to feel or experience all of these signs we just mentioned.

If as you read the list, you found that you experience some of the signs, you may want to stay open to this connection you’ve been forming and cultivating in order to see what else may unfold between you. While love at first sight can happen, love normally takes time to blossom. So give it the space and time it needs to thrive.

If on the other hand you find yourself feeling and experiencing very few of the signs you’re falling in love, you may want to reconsider why you’re dating this person. Is it possible it’s a “better than nothing” connection? If so, both of your hearts might benefit from letting go. 

No matter what you read here, no matter what indicators you find in your life, when it comes to how to know if you love someone, you are the only one who knows that answer. Somewhere inside you do know the answer, or you know you’re in the process of finding the answer. Either way, you’re encouraged to trust yourself so that you can relax and allow the natural dating process to show you the way to love, or not. 

If you’d like to explore more deeply, this definitive guide to conscious dating can help you sort out whether this connection is ideal for you. And, if you’re still unclear, we suggest finding an advisor or mentor to help you sort through your thoughts and feelings so that you can see the truth of love, or not, for yourself. 

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Since 2006, highly conscious men and women, with a commitment to extraordinary relationships, have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy to find and cultivate Soul Partnerships from their bedrooms to their boardrooms. Ecstatic Intimacy believes in coveted relationships, for all. 

You too, are invited…