How Men Can Connect with Their Feminine Energy: 5 Simple Yet Potent Practices

Frequently more and more people – men, women, and all beings – find themselves contemplating “how men can connect with their feminine energy?” In this time where it seems like a significant proportion of the population touts hyper masculinity and their perception of its superiority, it is that very imbalance that has driven another large portion of the population to more clearly understand what harmony between the inner masculine and feminine looks and feels like, especially in men. When all of us understand how men can consciously connect with their feminine energy, and we all collectively support that embodiment, our world will evolve in the ways it most needs.

Here we will begin by exploring why it’s so important that men know how to connect with their feminine energy. Then, with that insight, we will dive into exactly how men can do that by acknowledging the feminine wounding that they must heal in the process. We’ll close with an understanding of how women, and other more feminine beings, can become allies to the men committed to greater wholeness, happiness, love, and well-being.

With that intention in place, please know that this article, and any short form written word, can only take this conversation so far. We will do our best here to address the nuances of the conversation, and many simply can’t be explained nor addressed completely in this context. If, as you read, something feels missing or incomplete, you are encouraged to keep exploring the Ecstatic Intimacy website, or send us your questions. We’re happy to answer them.

Let’s dive in…

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Why should men connect with their feminine energy? 

If we’re going to talk about how men can connect with their feminine energy, we first need to know why that actually matters. Expanding our capacity as human beings always requires us to get at least a little bit uncomfortable. Yet as we all know, our bodies and minds tend to resist the discomfort of change unless we have a good reason for that change. So what’s the good reason here? It’s actually simple, but it might seem initially complex. Let’s explore…

Our society has told men and boys that they should behave in ways that align with traditional views of men and masculinity. That ideology, whether projected consciously or unconsciously, perpetuates men living their lives in accordance with expectations rather than true authenticity. So first and foremost, men need access to their feminine side so that we can move beyond the rugged, rough and tumble, Wild West perception of masculinity, or the always-ready-for-combat version of being a man. While these expressions of masculinity may still ring true authentically for some, turning them into a demand or an expectation for all men ultimately harms not just men and boys, but all human beings. Therefore the first reason that men need to know how to connect with their feminine energy is because it allows for aligned authenticity, which is essential to well-being, health and happiness for all.

Secondarily, giving men permission to connect with their feminine energy brings about a greater harmony not only within themselves, but also within the actions they take, and the results they generate, in the world. While we can’t explain the entire framework of masculine and feminine dynamics or yin yang philosophy here we can clearly state that masculine and feminine energies complement one another by nature. Yin energy lives at the heart of Yang energy. Yang energy lives at the heart of Yin energy. Equivalently, conscious masculinity sits at the center of conscious femininity, just as conscious femininity sits at the center of conscious masculinity.

Said another way, in the absence of Yin feminine qualities such as the ability to feel, to have compassion, and to recognize our impact on others in the world, we will inevitably cause harm. To say that yet one more way, masculinity without complementary femininity damages their relationships and the world. You might even notice that reflected in current events.

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How can men connect with their feminine energy? 

Interestingly, it may seem as if men have to go find feminine energy and learn how to bring it into themselves and their way of being. However, every single human being already inherently and innately has both Yin and Yang, masculine and feminine, aspects within their embodiment. No human being actually exists without feminine or masculine energy. However, sometimes these aspects of ourselves have gone into hiding. Sometimes they’ve been shamed into the shadows. It is this awareness that offers the best insight into how a man can connect with his feminine energy.

Instead of seeking for feminine energy, men, or anyone seeking to embody more of their feminine aspect, will first and foremost, need to identify and release the fears and judgments they hold against the feminine. Many may initially believe they hold no animosity towards femininity, but if they are not already consistently embodying that aspect of themselves, resistance is the reason. Let’s face it, our society judges, harshly, many of the most common expressions of femininity.

For a man to connect with his feminine energy, he must willingly seek out his judgments and fears, as well as any shame he feels, about the following five primary aspects of feminine embodiment. Of course feminine energy has many more dimensions to it than the five qualities we explore below. However, when a man (or any human being) embraces and authentically integrates these aspects he will find himself more whole, more alive, and much more full of love. And in case you’re concerned, those qualities will make him much more successful and prosperous in the world.

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The five most important feminine aspects for men to connect with 

As we began saying above, men will need to acknowledge and heal the shame and associated wounding they hold around their own internal feminine energy. Most will find the freedom to embody and express their whole, conscious, and authentic selves when these aspects of being human can come out of hiding and feel safe to be seen. With that being said, most importantly, these aspects of the feminine must feel safe to be seen and embodied by the man himself. When he can hold safety for his own feminine, it will be safe for him to express that in the world. He must use his inner masculine to create a safe space for his inner feminine.

The five primary aspects of the feminine that must be acknowledged, healed, and freed:

1. Feelings and Emotionality: We all feel. We all get sad and we all get mad. Tears are a normal part of being human. Yet way too many men and boys have been relentlessly shamed for allowing themselves to cry or experience any sensitive emotion. Our feminine aspect governs emotionality, and having a healthy relationship with the full range of men’s emotions matters. His inner masculine can be a safe container for his emotions.

2. Getting close. Our feminine aspect leads us to closeness and connection. Our masculine aspect moves us towards individuality and separation. Both are essential to a fulfilled life and sustainable relationships. Yet too often again, men are shamed and judged for wanting too much connection. Others fear that if they allow deep connection, they’ll lose their freedom and independence. Again, when men realize it’s safe to establish and maintain connection, alongside their sovereignty, they will find themselves ultimately happier and healthier, as well as more conscious in the world at large.

3. Allowing softness. Conscious men, regardless of how strong their embodiment of masculinity, know that underneath their strength and solidity lives a genuinely soft heart. That’s an expression of their feminine side. Too many men feel they have to hide that softness for fear of someone calling him a sissy or something worse. Yet love lives and expresses itself through softness. Dropping the fear and embracing the power of softness will strengthen every man’s close and special relationships.

4. Embracing vulnerability. If we look at our most intimate relationships, if we want them to be healthy, if we want them to last, they require vulnerability. As humans our capacity for vulnerability determines our capacity to be seen and known. Every single person ultimately wants this most in their intimate relationship. A man wants to be loved for who he is, perfections and imperfections, just as every woman, every human being wants the same. We all want to be loved as our authentic unmasked self. Therefore any man who wants to know how to connect with his feminine energy, must cultivate his capacity for vulnerability. This is of course, once again, supported and held by the conscious embodiment of his own inner masculine.

5. Learning to receive. When we contrast Yin and Yang, masculine and feminine, the Yang or masculine aspect of ourselves is the giver in the giving-receiving dance. We must all, as you know, be able to give and receive if we want to have truly wonderful lives and partnerships. Yet still, we frequently see in our retreats how difficult men, and anyone who spends a lot of time in masculine energy, finds it to receive. If you want to know how to connect with your feminine energy, then you want to strengthen your receiving muscle. Of course, remember that receiving doesn’t make you weak. It allows for harmony and partnership.

As a man, as you approach connecting with your feminine energy, remember that it’s not something you need to build, it’s something you need to allow. Getting started you may want to have the support of a mentor or a community where these aspects of men are not only supported but celebrated. Alternatively, you might explore a men’s group. Most importantly, you need a safe space and conscious support that allows you to feel safe opening into the softer and more vulnerable aspects of being human. That makes a whole man. That makes a conscious man. That makes a deeply attractive man. 

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How women become allies

As men learn how to connect with their feminine energy, they need their more feminine friends, family members, and partners to support them. Unfortunately, in Western society, we continue to hold a significant unconscious yet generalized contempt for the feminine. Again, we see over and over and over again in those who attend our retreats or join our programs that men, women, and all beings have felt shamed and judged for their feminine qualities. For women, and for those with a stronger feminine side, it has often sounded like “You’re too sensitive.” “You’re too emotional.” “You’re needy.” “You’re too much.” 

So, as you can see women and more feminine people are also judged for their feminine aspect. This often drives them to judge the men in their lives as also being too soft and sensitive, as if soft and sensitive were threats. The truth is quite the opposite. We are all safer when we can feel. We care for and honor each other in much more powerful ways when our feminine ability to sense our impact on another comes online. This makes everyone safer.

Additionally, women have been just as conditioned as men to expect old-school masculinity from their partners, children, and colleagues. If you are a feminine being or woman who wants to support the healing of humanity through the reunion of the masculine and feminine, then you too are encouraged to look at and release your own fears and judgments of the feminine. You might be surprised, as thousands before you have been, to realize just how much fear and judgment you carry.

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In closing, you are acknowledged for your courage to ask how men can connect with their feminine energy. Those who ask this question and cultivate this capacity become healers to the world. These men, and those who love them, heal themselves first. Then they heal their relationships and their families. From there they hold a space for a healed humanity where all beings remain held in equally high regard. This is a world where true love leads and prosperity is the result.

Thank you.

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Since 2006 conscious men and women have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy to find and cultivate true love and sustainable partnerships, while also fostering their mastery of the yin and yang of relationships (masculine and feminine).

If this is your time, we’d love to quickly connect.