How to Make Your Man More Masculine: 11 Very Surprising Ways

If you’d like to learn how to make your man more masculine, then you’ll first want to understand the role you play in influencing how much masculine energy he brings to your relationship. Most women think it’s primarily his issue when her man isn’t being masculine enough for her desires. She doesn’t realize her relationship with her femininity has a direct impact on his embodiment of masculinity. It’s a reciprocal dynamic and it’s one she can influence, but not in the ways she might first imagine.

You cannot get your man to be more masculine by telling him all the reasons he should be. You won’t encourage his masculine energy by expressing your disappointment in him or his energy. You won’t inspire him with all the logical reasons for it. Your pouting and frustration will only send his masculine deeper into hiding.

Additionally, if you imagine that when you learn how to make your man more masculine that his increased masculinity will finally allow you to be more feminine, sadly, you won’t find success in your efforts. To “make” your man more masculine, you will need to take a more personal approach. When you change he’ll change. Your embodiment of the feminine must come first. 

Before we start looking at your side of the equation, let’s dispel another idea you might have about helping him.

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If you want to know how to help your man be more masculine, stop!

The absolute worst thing you could do if you want to encourage your partner’s masculine energy is to try to help him be more masculine. You cannot actually “help” him and any attempt to do so will only backfire. If you do try to lend your wisdom and assist him, he might become more masculine, but it won’t be in the conscious loving ways you desire.

When the feminine attempts to “help” the masculine with anything she implicitly tells him he’s not capable of doing it on his own. Her help, when he hasn’t requested it, sends a message that she doesn’t accept him the way he is, that he’s not enough, and that she doesn’t believe in his ability to be more on his own. 

For him, feeling like he’s failing and not enough for her will, in most cases, cause him to harden, withdraw, and give up. If he feels that way often enough, or over a long enough period of time, he may even leave the relationship. Either way you won’t get him to be more consciously masculine. 

So if it’s not about helping him, what is the right approach when you long for more masculine energy in your relationship? Let’s answer that question.

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How to encourage his masculine energy – the prerequisites

Now that we see it’s not about helping him, let’s return our discussion to how your feminine presence encourages his masculine energy. First, we must consider two important prerequisites before we get into the specific ways that you can show up to inspire his masculinity. If you don’t have this one essential feeling for your man, none of your other efforts will make a difference. Additionally, you’ll want to do your best to ensure that being more masculine is actually truly good for him, and not just for you.  

As you start exploring this masculine feminine dynamic between you, first you want to make sure you are with the right man. The most important question to ask yourself is, do you respect your man? Do you respect him regardless of his flaws? Do you respect him enough to trust him? One of the most important needs a man in a romantic relationship has is to feel respected by his partner. He needs to feel respected for who he is and how he shows up in the world. 

If you can’t find respect for him then he is not likely a good fit as a long term romantic partner. The only exception to this might arise when there has been long standing upsets in your relationship. If you used to respect him in the past, but have since lost some of that respect, you may still be a good match for each other. If you used to respect him, that serves as an indicator that you’ll need to address your unresolved hurts and upsets so that your respect returns, or at least increases. This will allow you to start looking at your masculine feminine energy patterns more effectively. 

In terms of prerequisites to make your man more masculine, next we have to consider his authentic nature. In other words, you want to get a sense of whether or not your partner has a predominantly masculine sexual essence. While you can never know for sure without his confirmation, you can get a sense of his natural essence by observing how he shows up in other areas of life. 

Many men who have an authentic masculine essence show up quite masculine in their professional lives yet shift into a more feminine energetic presence in their home or romantic life. You may also see indicators of authentic masculine energy in his hobbies or athletics. Again, you can’t tell for sure without his input, but his authenticity is important to consider. You do not want to try to force fit a man into your version of masculinity.  

In an ideal world, you’d both desire to explore the masculine – feminine dynamics in your relationship together. Yet, again, if he’s less than enthusiastic about the idea, remember when you shift the relationship shifts. 

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How to “make” your man more masculine – the steps for you

Now lets get to the heart of the matter – your ability to influence his masculinity. As we said, you want to drop your efforts to learn how to make your man more masculine. Instead you want to inspire his masculine and let him become more masculine on his own, by his own efforts, most importantly by his own choice. 

1. Embody your feminine energy. His masculine finds motivation from your feminine. If you’re being masculine then the dynamics of sexual polarity will automatically shift him into more feminine energy – what you don’t want. It’s all about the polarity of opposites and if you’re holding the masculine “pole” in the relationship, then he has to hold the feminine pole. When you move into the feminine you’ll call him into his masculine. 
2. Stop doing masculine things in the relationship. If you want him to make plans, stop making all the plans. If you want him to initiate, stop initiating. Want him to make more decisions? Stop making decisions for the two of you. Let him. It may be uncomfortable at first, but if you keep stepping into the masculine actions, he doesn’t have a chance to show up for you.
3. Stop mothering him. Be his partner. Being his mother will push him into little boy energy which has a reduced masculine expression. Trust him to be a grown man and take care of himself. 
4. Find your radiance. The masculine can be mesmerized by the feminine light. He loves seeing his woman shine. He wants her to be lit up with happiness and he’ll naturally do A LOT to try to make her happy. Ask yourself, are you make-happy-able? Are you taking care of yourself in ways that bring out your radiance?
5. Soften. If he experiences you showing up hard and more warrior-like, in ways he experiences his buddies, it won’t make him more masculine. It will appear to him that you’re handling it fine on your own and he’s not needed. While he wants to make you happy, he won’t butt in where you’re already handling things. He wouldn’t insult his buddies by offering to help, so unless you start to soften the strong independent woman facade, he’s likely to treat you the same way. 
6. Start expressing your needs and desires with feeling. The masculine won’t find himself inspired by nagging, but if you begin to express your needs and desires by including how that contribution from him will positively impact you, he’ll likely be much more motivated to step up and support you. For example, if him stopping at the grocery store for you would allow you a few minutes to go for a walk, then say something like, “Babe, would you be willing to stop at the store and grab xyz for me on your way home? It would give me a chance to go for a walk and soak up the sun for a bit. I’m longing to get outside.” Say it with the embodied feeling of how good it will feel to be in the sunshine walking. The feeling is what moves the masculine. 
7. Start expressing your feelings without blame or attack. One of the biggest ways to make your man less masculine is to blame him or make him feel like he’s never enough for you. Yet, sometimes we do feel disappointed or even angry at our partner’s actions or inactions. If you’re feeling emotional, it’s 100% appropriate to share that emotion with your partner, but it’s not appropriate to blame him for your feelings. The wise feminine woman who wants to encourage her man to be more masculine, expresses her painful emotions within her own space without putting them on him. When she does this he can feel moved to respond in a way that lessens her pain, instead of retreating from an attack. 
8. Let him help. One of the most common reasons a man stops contributing to his feminine partner, and therefore feels less masculine in her eyes, is because she says she doesn’t need him. If you hold beliefs that asking for help means you’re somehow weak or needy, then you’ll continually, often unknowingly, push away his efforts to be masculine. Again, if this happens regularly over time, he’ll stop trying. If your mantra is “No, no. I’ve got it.” Instead, try saying “Thank you,” the next time he offers to help. If you want to truly practice, say, “Will you help me with abc,” instead of, “Will you abc?” 
9. Learn to receive. As we explore the fact that your answer to the question, how to make your man more masculine, is to be more feminine, you’re probably realizing that your energy matters. If you want to be with a masculine man romantically, then you definitely need to build your receiving muscle. Too many women in today’s world are much better givers than receivers. This overgiving effectively dampens the potential masculine presence around her. 
10. Trust him. Believe in him. If your man senses that you don’t trust or believe in him, your belief will impact him. If your doubt in him reigns strong enough, he may not even attempt to show up for you. With that, of course, he doesn’t always show up the way you wanted him to and, yet, if you have the prerequisite of respect then you have reason to trust him. Lean into that trust. The masculine always wants to succeed in his endeavors, so believe in him to show up, even imperfectly. Acknowledge progress and not inadequacy in his efforts and you’ll get more of what you want – his masculine presence. 
11. Acknowledge his contributions to you with joy and gratitude. Let him feel the impact he’s had on you. Again, we’ve said, masculine men naturally want to make the woman in their life happy. AND, the masculine likes to win. In other words when he sets his mind to accomplish something, like your joy and happiness, he wants to see and experience the fruits of his efforts. If he does something that makes you happy, brings you joy, or even simply does something you appreciate, then acknowledge and appreciate him with feeling. Express your appreciation, relief, joy, or happiness in an embodied way. Because so many men are visual, he wants to see your joy as much as feel it.  

Of course, you don’t have to master all of these. Yet you’ll need to start embodying at least some of them in order to call out his masculinity. Start with the ones that feel most accessible to you and build from there. Even though, as we’ve said, you don’t want to “make” your man more masculine, you do want to call it forth from him through your feminine embodiment. 

Here is a word of warning; if you’ve been together a long time and you have deeply engrained relationship patterns where you have held the masculine and he has held more of the feminine, then it may take some time before you see results from your efforts. Again, if there has been hurt and misunderstanding between you, you may need some assistance to clean up the unresolved pain so you have a chance to start fresh. 

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Marry your inner masculine and feminine

As you discover and embody how to be more feminine in your relationship, you’ll also, maybe surprisingly, need to cultivate a relationship with your own inner masculine. You may not realize it, but the strength, grace, and power of your feminine depends wholly on her capacity to trust and lean on your own inner masculine.

Similarly, although we’ll save it for a conversation on Divine masculine embodiment, the masculine must lean on his inner feminine in order to be his most conscious and powerful self. While mastering this internal masculine feminine marriage consciously is an advanced topic in our Soul Love program series, we need to start planting the seeds right away. 

In the absence of a relationship with her inner masculine, a feminine being will often become codependent and her self abandonment will harm the relationship. Additionally, her lack of boundaries, or in other words her tendency to take on too much or say ‘yes’ when she really needs or wants to say ‘no’, will end up breeding resentment. She’ll lose herself. Her attractive light dims and the masculine partner finds himself much less inspired. 

When these unconscious shadow feminine expressions arise her desperation for learning how to make her man more masculine goes up exponentially. In her desperation she’ll push too hard, demand too much, and push him away. 

It surprises most to realize that while the strong independent woman persona drives us to overuse masculine energy, almost every woman that steps onto this journey of recovering her feminine realizes that she also under uses her masculine energy. 

If you want to encourage your man to be more masculine, although it may seem counterintuitive, you’ll also need to cultivate a conscious relationship with your inner masculine. 

When it comes to masculine feminine dynamics in love, there is surely magic to be had. When the masculine and feminine dance openly and freely, in love and trust of themselves and each other, sparks of love, joy and passion will certainly fly in all areas of life. So you’re invited to surrender your quest to learn how to make your man more masculine and shift your attention to how to allow the genuine and immensely powerful flow of the feminine in you and the masculine in him find each other, inspire each other. 

You cannot control this. You, as a feminine being, have to allow it. 

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Finally, we said this earlier and it’s worth mentioning again, if you’ve been together for more than a short time the lack of, or often reversed, polarity dynamics will have caused hurt for both of you. You cannot be successful in creating this exciting conscious and love-filled dance of the masculine and feminine without cleaning up the existing hurts, wounds, shutdowns, and resentments. 

Most importantly, if you’ve been deeply in your masculine for much of your life, you may also need to understand what emasculated means. Most feminine beings have no idea the power they wield to shut masculine energy down in their partner. As a result of this both of you will likely need to do some healing individually and together before you can create the results you desire. 

Take your time. 

Trust the process.

Find your feminine 

Lean on your masculine.

Clean up the past.

And, watch your masculine man become more masculine right before your eyes.

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Since 2006, highly conscious men and women, with a commitment to extraordinary relationships, have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy to find and cultivate Soul Partnerships from their bedrooms to their boardrooms. Ecstatic Intimacy believes in coveted relationships, for all. 

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