is she losing interest

Is she losing interest? 5 Must Know Signs She’s Losing Interest

Is she losing interest in me? A man’s mind starts to contemplate this question when the woman he’s into seems “off,” when her behavior changes, or when she simply doesn’t seem as into him as she once was. Understanding how to tell when she’s losing interest gives you both agency and opportunity. Knowing the signs means you can address any potential issues before they turn into a permanent break up. With that being said, she might also just be going through a rough streak in her own life and she absolutely still wants you around. She might even be longing for your support.

As we explore the signs she’s losing interest, remember that these experiences could be simply circumstantial and meaningless when it comes to her attraction to and connection with you. The most important thing for you to do when you find yourself wondering “is she losing interest in me” is to stay centered. If she is losing interest and you aren’t grounded in your response, if you try to chase her or convince her, you’ll likely push her further away. 


Signs she’s losing interest

As we explore these indicators that she is losing interest, remember that they can show up for many other reasons. As you review these, look for themes. See how many of the signs you recognize in your connection or in her behavior. We’ll say this again later, but don’t make any assumptions. You’ll want to explore what you sense and notice with her, so you can understand what is truly happening between you. 

The signs… 

1) She doesn’t seem as happy around you

If, when you spend time with this woman, she’s not smiling as radiantly or she doesn’t light up as much when you first arrive, some of her attraction may be dwindling. In general, a feminine woman’s attraction to you will shine through her face and specifically in her smile. 

Your presence and your actions, especially in the beginning, will tend to bring her joy. Even in a long term relationship, while she won’t likely always smile every time you walk through the door, if she’s not smiling frequently at you, you might want to pay attention to what’s getting in the way of your love.

Similarly, when a feminine woman feels happy around the man she’s romantically engaged with, it will tend to relax her and open her. She’ll tend to be more playful, and even silly sometimes. This will of course vary by personality and yet the authentic feminine does light up and let go when she feels good (and safe) with a man she’s attracted to. 

So, if you’re experiencing her as more reserved, less radiant, or even a bit on guard, you might be quite valid in your wondering of is she losing interest. 

2) She’s not as engaged or enthusiastic about time and activities with you

Again, you have to take into consideration the rest of this woman’s life, and if she turns down your invitations to spend time with you more frequently, if she doesn’t kiss or hug you as long, if she’s turning down sexual intimacy more often, then these can definitely be signs she’s losing interest.

Another way you might notice her enthusiasm dwindling is if she’s less “touchy” with you. In general, a woman flirts with touch and it usually happens unconsciously. When she’s into you, she almost can’t help herself but to touch your knee or your shoulder when she’s near you. She’ll enjoy planting little kisses and holding your hand. 

She’ll also tend to acknowledge and appreciate you verbally, when your presence and actions truly impact her heart and touch her soul. So if she’s not acknowledging or appreciating you as much, this is worthy to note. 

On a related note, a woman who is losing interest will tend to avoid conversations about the future, while a woman who is truly interested in you, will crave conversations about the future. The feminine wants to know that you see a potential future with her. If she doesn’t sense that possibility within a reasonable period of time, she will invariably begin to lose interest. 

3) She’s not sharing or asking you to share

The feminine wants to connect. She wants to know and be known. Deeply. 

Ultimately, connection leads her to the feeling of unity her spirit longs for.  When interest feels strong and compelling, a natural curiosity arises within the feminine. She tends to feel closer through knowing – knowing you and being known by you – especially through vulnerable knowing. That includes her sharing vulnerable real details about herself while she hopes you’ll share the same with her.

For many women, conversation – good, deep conversation – turns her on. Those kinds of conversations will tend to open her heart through an emotional intimacy. And, as a wise masculine man knows, a feminine woman opens her sexuality through her heart. 

So if she feels more distant, if her answers are shorter, if she’s asking you fewer questions, that could very well mean the answer to the question, “is she losing interest?” is yes. 

In short, if the feminine slows down her attempts and bids for deeper connection, your bonding might be headed for trouble. 

4) She’s excludes you from or doesn’t invite you into her more personal spaces

Again, when a feminine woman feels truly into you, she’ll want to connect you with other meaningful people in her life. So, if you’ve been dating for awhile and she doesn’t invite you to meet her friends or family, something might be up. If you have been invited to family gatherings or events with her friends and this stops. Then yes, she might be losing interest. 

Similarly, if she doesn’t seem interested in meeting your friends and family you might be curious as to why. Pay particular attention when her desires change. In other words, if she wanted to meet your friends and now she doesn’t, or she seems to avoid those opportunities, her affection could be waning. 

This particular sign she’s losing interest could also show up as non-committal. If it seems like she’s keeping her options open for a better opportunity, you might want to ask how she’s feeling about your connection. Now, it’s worth mentioning that in these circumstances, you’ll be well served by double checking the role of any insecurities you might have, and how they impact your interpretation of her actions. 

5) Upsets and Disappointments are on the rise

Last but not definitely not least, if disagreements and disappointments show up more frequently between the two of you, this could be a sign she’s losing interest in you. On the other hand, it could also indicate that you need to learn to communicate better as a couple. With that being said, over time if a couple doesn’t recognize that men and women argue differently, then the upsets rarely actually end. They get stuffed under the rug and erode away at interest, attraction and love.  

If she’s interested in you, then because of the feminine’s strong inner desire for union, she will give a lot of energy to working things out when upsets happen. So, if you’ve noticed that she’s not trying as hard to reconnect or understand what happened when hurts arise, then she could be giving up on your connection. 

This sign can also show up in the form of nagging, complaining or criticism. Similar to sign #1, she’ll begin to lose some of the joy she had around you when you don’t address upsets well. While it can feel frustrating and even emasculating to a masculine man when she complains, how you handle the evitable misunderstandings and misalignments will impact her level of interest and attraction. 

In a nutshell here, if she stops trying to work things out and fully make up with you, then she may be feeling resigned. And, unfortunately resignation often precedes a breakup. 


How to find out more from her

Again, let’s reiterate this important fact. These signs that she’s losing interest can show up for many other reasons. Don’t assume anything. And, if your reflection on your recent times together finds you noticing several of these signs, an authentic conscious conversation between the two of you could serve both of your hearts. 

It’s important that you stay curious with the situation, yourself, her, and your connection. If the answer to the question, “is she losing interest” is yes, or even maybe, then the time to pay attention and look for a possible shift in the energy, is now. 

Again, the best thing you can do is to stay centered and grounded in yourself. You might ask yourself if you’re embodying the divine masculine or if you’re making one of the 6 common mistakes men make that turn women off.  

Most importantly, you’ll want to find a good time and space to have a real conversation with her. If you truly value the connection or relationship with her, you’ll want to create an emotionally safe space and ask her genuine questions about what she feels. Be willing to hear her needs and desires. 

Do not ask questions over text. Do not chase her. Trust the highest and best will work out between the two of you if you approach your connection as a conscious relationship, even if you’ve only been dating a short time. 


Since 2006, highly conscious men and women, with a commitment to extraordinary relationships, have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy to find and cultivate Soul Partnerships from their bedrooms to their boardrooms. Ecstatic Intimacy believes in coveted relationships, for all. 

You too, are invited…

*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.

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