Let the Wild Side Out!

Is there a part of you that you don’t let out to play?  …that you keep leashed up… controlled… contained?   In the bedroom?  With your clients?  With your friends?

There is in me… or at least there was a part that, for years (it feels like a lifetime), I not only kept tightly leashed, but I actually did everything I could to deny it’s existence.  I know it still hasn’t shown itself fully yet… but I have FINALLY given it permission to come out and play.

Not only have I given it permission to come out and play, I’ve given it permission to exist… I stopped trying to kill the wild side, the wild spirit.

You see this part felt like such a threat, such a liability.  My mind would say so loudly at times… “Control yourself!   Be Good!  Be Nice (ie. polite, well behaved, even saintly.) People don’t like it when you get too wild… too excited… too passionate.  It scares them… They go away…  People want you to be normal. They like the status quo. They like calm.”

That was mind trying to keep me safe, loved, wanted and respected. 

Yet it’s funny… I wanted to feel free so much that I’d try to get the people around me to be that way – to be free, expressive, excited, wild, so that I would have permission to be more wild. I wanted them to do what I wasn’t willing to do because I thought if they did it, I would too, but I still resisted. Honestly, I’d even get mad at them when they weren’t wild, free, playful, excited. Yet I wasn’t willing to put myself out there and be free. I was trying to get those feelings from other people… while I was doing the exact opposite to myself.  It wasn’t fair. To them. Or to me.

When I’m really honest, it’s not playing it safe, pure, clean, or appropriate that has people love me, want to be around me, or support me. 

What people really want is REAL. 

They want other people to be real so they can relax, let down their guard and be real too.  And, that includes being authentic, free, wild, and maybe even a little bit crazy. I had so many people say “I love your realness.”… yet still I’ve tried to control myself… be appropriate, be the way I’m supposed to be.


Do you play nice in the world so people like you?


Do you play nice, keep calm, be responsible, be moderated, so people don’t leave? So they respect you or admire you?  Do you keep tucked away that “naughty” side, that disagreeing side, the part who wants to buck the norm, or say “screw it” and let it all hang out? If you’re like most humans, you never let it out because it feels too risky…

Are did you do what I did and put the wild, loud-mouth, boisterous, radical, different, sexy part of you away so long ago you don’t even know it exists any more?


Notice your body right now…


As you read, notice your body. Is there something stirring?  Something nudging you to pay attention? Is there a voice that wants to be heard? Is there a power that’s done being repressed? Is there a desire that wants to not only be acknowledged…


but wants be lived… lived fully… lived with wild abandon?!


Is there a calling you’ve been ignoring? Is it time to finally speak what you’ve been holding back? Is it an orgasmic scream that wants to be released? Is it time to tell someone what you really think or feel? Is it time to stand up for what’s right?

What dream are you ready to say yes to…  is it a new job or business? Having a great relationship?  Exploring Sacred Sensuality?  What have you been denying within yourself?


It’s time to let it out…. The world needs your wild side… your unleashed passion, your self-expression.  It needs the real you.


What would it be like to wake up full of life… looking forward to the day… happy to be you… inspired by your work… thrilled to be in love… still in the bliss of last night’s frolic with your lover… or simply the magic of your life?


It starts with you.   It starts with me.


I had to say yes to me. You have to say yes to you. ALL of you. Then you really get to play together with others – in bed and out. You can’t share their greatness with another, you can’t be seen and loved for your greatness, if you don’t let your greatness out, if you don’t express your soul’s passion. If you personally are not living wildly, passionately yourself, no one can do it for you. (but people can help you find the way out of your cage). I’m reminded of a bumper sticker…

 “Well behaved women never change history.”


And, this applies to men and women alike. It’s so common to wish our partners, male, female, or anywhere in between, would just let go. The masculine-feminine energy dynamics play out differently depending on whether you are predominately masculine or feminine, but will all have a fully expressive, sexy, wild side.

No one can bring it out of you… I know.  I tried.  I thought, “Oh the right man will bring it out… Well, ok, he wasn’t the right one. I’ll find the right one… No, he wasn’t the right one, he didn’t bring it out either.” And, I kept searching… man after man. But a man couldn’t bring it out of me. I had to let it out of me. I had to say yes. Women… no man can bring it out of you.

Men… no woman can bring it out of you either.  No woman can prove you’re a great lover.  You have to bring that to her.  No woman can love or admire you enough for you to feel powerful.  You have to be powerful.  You have to be it.


You have to be it.


With all love,


P.S. If it’s time to stop to wishing, stop regretting, stop being jealous of your friends and neighbors that have it better…

If you’re ready to say yes to waking up happy, on fire, full of love, being a magnet for great passion, generating incredible results…

Then it’s time to decide… to say,


“I give my wild, unruly, creative, passionate side permission to be…

permission to live freely and fully!”


*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.

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