Living and Loving on the Edge

Not everyone wants to live at the edge.  Living at the edges is scary, even terrifying sometimes.  We’re called to live at the edge when we know there’s more available … more love, more abundance, more freedom, more joy, more ecstasy.  It’s called for when the deepest part of us demands that we live to our fullest potential – opening wider, sharing more, being more.

Actually, it’s not that we are more, it’s that we embody more, we express more, we reveal more, we offer more of who we truly are.  You and I and everyone we’ve ever met are full of love, joy, passion, abundance.  We’ve just forgotten it’s there, or worse yet, we pretend it’s not when, if we’re willing to be honest, we can feel it vibrating within and it’s just too scary to admit.

I’ve been invited to come to the edge so many times… yet for so long the second I got a sense of the edge, I dove-tailed and ran the other way.  Slowly I learned to be curious and gentle, occasionally a little demanding or, maybe better said, became committed to facing what I found on that edge.  I began to realize the power and potential of living on the edge.


Have you run from your edges?


It’s easy to get comfortable, even complacent with life, to get comfortable with our walls of protection, our so-called limitations, our beliefs about what’s possible or not.  I knew every way under the sun to make myself comfortable and soothe the ache of whatever I felt was missing or unfilled.  I remained the victim of my own thinking and feeling (or my non-feeling).

Then it was time to stop.  It was time to ask, what am I so afraid to feel or experience?  What am I trying so desperately to avoid that I’ll stay in this mediocrity when I know so much more is possible, when I want… I long for… so much more.

I wanted to avoid embarrassment, rejection, shame, guilt, failure, judgment.  I was so committed to not feeling those feelings that it wasn’t possible to feel the fullness of passion, love, connection, happiness.  I didn’t want to be rejected, so I’d limit love.  I didn’t want to fail so I’d play small in business.  I didn’t want to be embarrassed so I’d limit my pleasure and ecstasy.  Ugh!


What do you avoid?  How do you limit yourself and your life?


Are you ready to come to the edge?  Your edge?   Your edges?  Over the years I’ve come to know many edges.   I’ve even had to fall off the same edge (letting more love in, trusting myself more, allowing more pleasure) over and over again.  Each time reveals, awakens, empowers more than the last.  The experiences of love, pleasure, confidence, passion, power deepen each time I fall.  A few years ago, I couldn’t have imagined the truth I know today.  I had to keep opening. I had to keep meeting and surrendering to my edge.


Are you ready to feel your edge?


As men and women, I sense we meet and move beyond our edges differently, or more specifically the masculine meets his edge differently than the feminine meets hers.  Just as masculine energy moves forward off the body, the masculine tends to step boldly forward into the edge… pushing it.  The masculine asks, “How tight and fast can I take this curve?  How can I conquer this conquer this challenge?  How much can this body endure?  How far can I push myself in this climb, this run, this race?”

Conversely, the feminine, when she meets her edge, needs to relax into it.  How much can I allow?  How open can I be?  How much can I surrender to this experience?  The feminine opens to her vulnerability at her edge to experience the depth of possibility.  Her energy opens and expands.  She receives the experience versus the push of the masculine that almost demands his experience.  He creates his experience.  She receives hers.


If you’re predominantly masculine in your natural energy, are you ready to step forward boldly into your edge?

If you’re predominantly feminine in your natural energy, are your willing to relax into your vulnerability and receive the experiences life offers you?

I invite you to more… to know, feel, and experience… more of you… more of life… more of the love that we are.


In love, light and ecstasy,


Joanna Shakti

*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.

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  1. RJ on August 22, 2012 at 3:37 am

    Hi Joanna:

    Oh, how true! I lived this a few months ago entering the realm of relationship unafraid, and baring all. The result was that I scared away the one that I had felt was true love, not from just my perspective, but by her account, hers as well. This makes me wonder, was I foolish? Was I playing fast and loose? Oh well……

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