Magnetic Attractive Masculine feminine polarity

Magnetic Attraction

What makes a man or a woman magnetically attractive?  We’ll get to the specific characteristics of men and women in a moment…they may surprise and enlighten you… and first, let’s explore attraction in general.

Magnetic attraction arises not from what we are doing, but who we are being.  You’ve probably heard me say this before and reminders are always good for me (even when I spend most of my days exploring about the topic!)


We are the MOST attractive when we are real and authentic…

when we are our most exposed… when we are raw… warts and all.


It is not our perfection that draws people towards us (and, by the way, this goes for romantic love, friendships, and business too)… it is our humanness.   Even a business plan that doesn’t include an explanation of company weaknesses isn’t attractive to an investor.  Think of the times when you gathered socially and someone shares a fear, a struggle they have or even a secret dream they rarely share… Have you noticed how you are drawn inexplicably toward that person?  Compare that to the times when you’ve been listening to someone go on and on about their successes and skills while you’re looking for your quickest escape from the conversation!


It is not our perfection that draws people towards us… it is our humanness.


Last week I spontaneously spent the most amazing week with a group of people who dove head first into our humanness (or you might say we dove into all the stuff we probably didn’t want to admit about ourselves!) and when we got pristinely honest… what arose from all of us was the most exquisite experiences of love, peace, joy, awareness, and Truth.  In our willingness to be completely “real”, the true realness appears.  The deeper truth of who we are arises and when that’s revealed… oh my god… the love and magic!


In our willingness to be completely “real”… the true realness appears.


So let’s look at some of the specific characteristics that we find most attractive in our mates and prospective mates…  I had to learn these the hard way… I hope it’s easier for you!

Critical Attraction Factors – Women

  • Authenticity – Be you… be real…
  • Self-Confidence – Believe in yourself – you are great!
  • Radiance – Take care of yourself so you can smile and shine… men LOVE that!
  • Receptivity – Be willing for a man to take care of you… If you can do it all and want to do it all… what do you need him for?  Let him open a door, carry your bag, help you out… Men love to take care of us!

Critical Attraction Factors – Men

  • Authenticity – Be you… be real…
  • Self-Confidence – Believe in yourself – you are great!
  • Direction – You know who you are, what you want and have a good idea where you are going in life…  You are willing to “lead” in the relationship (i.e. ask her out, plan dates, propose, coordinate major life plans…)
  • Presence – Be present to who she is… listen to her.  See beyond her body to the real woman inside.  She can feel when you energy leaves – whether you are talking or love making – she feels it.

Notice that you can’t fake these qualities… They have to be real.  So if you struggle with these in yourself, you’ll want to take a look at what gets in your way.  It’s probably conditioning or past painful experiences that a part of you will do anything to avoid experiencing again.  Unfortunately, that conditioning and “protective” way of being prevents you from experiencing the very thing you seek.

If you’ve lost your confidence… it’s time to find it.

If you feel like you have to “put on a happy face” or ” do it all right” or “even be who you think they want you to be”… you don’t!  Trying to do any of those things will get in the way of love.


Just be you… All of you…

In love, light and ecstasy,

Joanna Shakti

*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.

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