Men and Women Argue Differently
Men, is she upset and you’re clueless about why, and now you’re fighting? Women, do you ever feel like he just doesn’t get it?
Here you’ll find four tips to turn conflict into connection, and the number one best way to end a woman’s upset! Guys, you want to know this…
1) Men and women communicate for different reasons.
He’s producing a result and he needs information. She’s having an experience, an experience of connection, and it’s about emotion. Any time two people do things with different objectives, we’re bound to run into trouble.
Stop resisting! Men and women are different.
Men do what men do, women do what women do. If you resist, it is way too painful.
2) A woman’s experience is enriched by details. Men want the facts.
Men are a lot more like Sergeant Joe Friday was in Dragnet, “Just the facts ma’am, just the facts,” while women are a lot more like Sandra Day in Grease, “Tell me more. Tell me more. Tell me more.”
We’re simply different. Don’t fight it!
3) A woman starts out full, and she needs to empty. A man actually starts out empty, and gets full.
What do I mean by that? It’s actually pretty simple.
Guys, she needs you to listen while she gets it all out. And no, you do not need to get every detail, but what you do need to get is what she’s experiencing, or more specifically, what she’s feeling.
Women, he needs space. Space to feel! And, when you give him that space to feel, you’ll get the words that you want. As a bonus, you’ll likely get the emotions too.
So, shh! Wait! Give him that space.
4) Men and women end upset differently.
Guys, this is why when she’s upset she seems to talk forever! Upset is complete for a man when the problem is solved. So, if she’s upset that the trash wasn’t taken out, and he takes the trash out, problem solved, right? It doesn’t work that way for women.
Upset is over for a woman when she feels heard. It’s not hearing the words, it’s about hearing how she feels.
So if the upset is,”You didn’t take out the trash.” It’s not hearing the words, “You didn’t take out the trash,” it’s hearing the feeling, “I felt disappointed that you didn’t take out the trash.”
No, she didn’t say the words, “I’m disappointed,” but that’s what she wants you to hear.
When you do hear her feelings, you can start celebrating because the upset is about to be over! You can hug and make up.
It’s that simple.
In love, light and ecstasy,
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.