Men & Women are Funny!
Have you ever noticed men and women are different? It seems like since the 60’s and the women’s movement men have been trying to be more like women and women more like men. And in most cases, I have to say we’ve been failing dismally.
Sure, we certainly know now that we have the ABILITY to do most anything the opposite sex can DO, but no matter how much the doing is the same, how we go about those activities, how we feel about them, and how we communicate about them hasn’t changed much at all. It seems we’re still just as frustrated with the opposite sex , saying “Why does he do that?” “Can she just get over it?”
So I thought today I’d highlight some of the humorous differences between men and women. Let’s start out with a few in the area of communication…
Men are literal in their words. They say what they mean. That means when a man says he’s fine, he’s fine. When a man says he’ll do something, he’s made his decision. He’s sure. When a woman asks a man who’s just said he’d do something, “Are you sure?” She questions his integrity.
Women, on the other hand, are not literal. You might say women are more figurative in their speech or that their tone and emotion mean much more than their words. If a woman says she’s fine, it likely means she’s anything but fine. Women ask each other “Are you sure?” all the time, because it’s very common for a woman to agree to do something she really doesn’t want to do because her nurturing and self-sacrificing nature has to put others way ahead of herself.
Here’s another. Men often complain, why does she keep repeating herself in an upset? Why does she keep bringing the same old thing, month after month? She does this because she doesn’t feel heard. So, men, being the brilliant solve-it-and-get-to-the-end-result-as-fast-as-possible beings they are, will simply repeat her words back and think they’ve “heard” her… or if she’s complaining about the dry cleaning he forgot to pick up, it seems like if he runs out and gets the dry cleaning, she should be happy…Done….Over. Right? Wrong. She doesn’t really care if you hear her words or even if you fix the problem. She wants to know that you get how she feels. Yes, how she feels. Hurt, angry, disappointed, afraid, etc. Yes, guys you can actually get her feelings, it just takes a little education and a little practice.
Oh and of course, we can’t forget that women primarily talk to connect, while men primarily talk to achieve a result. Now, those can definitely get reversed, but more times than not, you’ll find the opposite purposes at work in our conversations. No wonder we’re often so frustrated with each other. Here’s a great video from the TV show Friends that demonstrates both this difference as well as several others I don’t have the space to go into here.
When it comes to the area of sexuality, the number of differences continues to skyrocket. With regard to turn-on, you’ve probably seen my video about how quickly the sexual fire gets stoked in men and women. In case you haven’t you can watch it here…
Where we want to be touched first (or last!) is completely opposite in men and women. Women, most guys are fairly happy if you put your hands on his sexual center before touching other parts of his body. That’s why a lot of men so often do that to women. And, guys, she rubs your chest and your back and kisses your neck or your belly before heading south because that’s what she wants.
I so highly recommend learning each other’s different needs, wants, desires and turn-ons and then offering those gifts to each other. I guarantee you that what she needs and longs for when it comes to “ideal” lovemaking… is quite different from what makes lovemaking out-of-this-world for him.
Please please learn about each other… I promise that when you learn the truth behind those differences, your frustration will be cut in half and your love will be doubled!
Practice: Learn something new about the opposite sex this week!
Understanding the opposite sex and the differences between the sexes is just one of the many Soul Love Skills that we explore in the Activating Soul Love Program, the first program in the Soul Love Program Series.
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.