Passionate Sex… Passionate Life…
What is passion? It seems we all have a desire for it, yet, my experience is that many of us have run away from it, myself included.
We crave it and fear it simultaneously. But, why?
Even if you don’t think you fear it, I invite you to keep reading. It’s possible you might not even be aware of how much you actually avoid it. For me, I thought because I talked about it and wanted it, that meant I welcomed it. I was wrong.
To get started with this article, I looked up the “actual” definition of passion. Merriam-Webster says…
“a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something” or “a strong sexual or romantic feeling for someone”.
For years I’ve worked with both men and women who on some level resist true passion…and don’t know it.
I’ve heard many reasons and when I read the dictionary definitions, it became completely obvious exactly why we chase passion and exactly why we run from it.
Let’s first explore the non-sexual side of passion. As the definition says, it’s about feeling strong excitement or enthusiasm. The two key words in that sentence are feeling and strong. Here’s the thing… whether we’re experiencing “good” or “bad” feelings or emotions; most of us have been conditioned to simply avoid feeling.
What most of us don’t realize is that if we try to compartmentalize and control strong so-called negative emotions, we have to do the same with strong “positive” ones like excitement and enthusiasm. Then, we miss out on the juice and the passion of life.
We have belief systems that say, “If I get too excited something bad might happen.” Bad might mean, “I’ll just feel disappointed anyway” or “Someone will get hurt”, or maybe, for you, it might mean, “They’ll judge me and won’t like me.”
Our society has made strong expression of anything wrong.
Do you hold yourself back from getting absolutely totally excited about something? Do you feel like you have to hold back your enthusiasm for a dream or project, so that others don’t think you’re over-the-top? Have you felt like your sexual passion is too strong?
Check in with you. Do you comfortably move toward passion in life or in love or do you pull back thinking, “I’m not sure if it’s really ok.”
Let’s look deeper at the sexual side of passion. I find so many of us, men and women alike, also shy away from our deepest sexual passion.
If you don’t believe me, ask yourself when the last time your lovemaking was so passionate, so exhilarating, that you couldn’t imagine it ever being more powerful?
I promise, even if it was that exhilarating, more passion is possible.
I also promise that if your passion isn’t fully coming out in bed, it’s not fully free in the rest of your life either. And, that means your dreams aren’t coming to life the way they could. You’re missing out on possibility.
I can say this for myself…
Most of the time we think we’re holding back our passion or our high energy emotions to protect another person. I found, that usually I’m trying to protect myself. Trying to protect myself from judgment, from rejection, from, at its worst, being ostracized.
Or when it comes to sexual passion, I’ve thought, “Oh, my gosh I might get out of control.” My mind would swirl, “What will he think of me? I don’t know if I can handle that much energy. If I get that that excited, what will happen?”
I’ve definitely contemplated, “If I get that wild in bed, I might never come back to ‘reality'”. I’ve heard the words “control yourself” go through my mind so many times. I’ve been in the midst of lovemaking and thought it felt so good and didn’t think I could handle any more intensity, any more pleasure. So I’d pull back from the edge.
I’ve moved beyond more and more edges over the years and I wonder how many more there are for me to discover? I’m looking forward to the pleasure! One of my teachers, Charles Muir, talks about expanding your pleasure boundaries… I know that applies in bed and beyond.
Is it time for you to let go of the conditioning, fears, judgments of yourself and others when it comes to passion? Is it time to let yourself be fully expressed? To let your passion explode? To experience that which you crave? Are you willing to get out of the way and let yourself go wild with passion?
I’m not just speaking about in the bedroom. If you could truly live with passion, what would be possible in your life? If you could bring your fullest enthusiasm and excitement to every moment, might those dreams that you’ve been thinking about for years, actually manifest?
Passion is our best friend and we’ve made it, in most cases, our enemy.
Would you like more passion in your life? …in the bedroom, in the boardroom and beyond?
Then it’s time to embrace EVERYTHING that holds you back from your passion.
I invite you to join me in a one-on-one session, in a workshop, in a program. I am so committed to awakening passion in the world because I know what it’s like to live without it. I want you to have what I continue to discover more and more every day… The ecstasy of passion.
It’s time for you to decide.
Do you want more passion tomorrow, today for that matter, in your bedroom? In your business? In your life? If you’re ready, let us know… And, please tell us about it… leave a comment below.
In love, light and ecstasy,
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.