Prince Charming… Good or Bad?
For the masculine men, we’ll get right to the point… and then I’ll tell you the story behind it.
I’ll get to prince charming in a minute, but first…
What if imperfection meant you were real?
What if imperfection meant you were healthy?
What if imperfection meant you enjoyed life?
What if imperfection that you were relaxed and at peace?
What if imperfection was the divine expression of your uniqueness?
What if imperfection existed so we had something to laugh at?
What if imperfection was perfect?
When I grew up I learned along the way that “it’s all about what others think of you.” Although I would never have dreamed of being an actor, I became a great performer.
I could put on a happy face. I could deliver on the deadlines. I could clean up the house so that everyone who walked in thought I had it all together. I had the perfect little house and the perfect little life. Or did I?
I so didn’t, but no one could possibly judge me, right?
Behind the perfect little house scene, there was the constant dieting to have a body that no one would tease or criticize. But the stuffed emotions, the stuffed self-loathing (because I wasn’t perfect and didn’t have the perfect life) made the diet a farce… and a failure.
And of course, you can’t let anyone know that you ate a whole bag of mini Snickers bars or most of the bag of marshmallows. What would they think about you? What would they say? Hide that too…
OMG… Prince charming asked me out. He was 6 foot three with blond hair and blue eyes. He was a concert pianist, a par golfer, and valedictorian, with a great family and a great future and he was only 22! Again, “OMG, there must be something good about me!” He wants to marry me… The mind says, “Don’t worry about the fact that he’s not so affectionate and you don’t always feel loved…” He’s worth it. He’s Prince charming. You could be Grace Kelly.
But all of it… it’s all a bundle of externalized lies. It’s an image so far from the truth… no wonder I put so much pressure on myself, my staff, my boyfriends (Prince charming and I divorced after four years.)
That world of extreme pressure is a pretty unhappy and lonely place when you feel like you have to hide everything all the time from everyone. How much can you really connect?
If you have to be prince charming… isn’t that so much pressure that your insides could just explode? When does prince charming just get to kick back and relax? He can’t. He has to keep up the image. He has to shine the armor.
Is it worth it? Is it worth the pressure, disconnection, hiding, embarrassment, shame, loneliness, and excruciating judgment to be someone people will like and accept?
I say no. I hope you do too.
They don’t all like and accept you anyway. Even your beloved might hate you for a moment.
Put down the lethal sword of perfection. It may not be physically lethal and I guarantee you it’s lethal to your soul and the soul’s of the one’s you love.
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.