Reflections & Intentions
A month or so ago, I started reflecting on my intentions and goals not just from this year, but from many years gone by. I’ll be honest with you, as I looked back, many of the same intentions repeated themselves year after year. Then there were years I just didn’t set any goals, because I used to tell myself “I never achieve them anyway.” On the surface it looked pretty “bad” and on any other day, I might have been incredibly depressed by my reflection and this time I wasn’t. I actually ended up celebrating!
The reason I was looking back on past visions and goals was because I’d learned something new about goal setting that I was fascinated by and I wanted to see if it held true for me. It so did and now I want to share it with you during this powerful time of transition at the new year.
This fall I was listening to a sales expert named Blair Singer who shared his views on goals and how we interact with them and he gave me an entirely new perspective. When we don’t meet a goal, Blair shared, there is often a deeper, more important goal that we did actually meet. These deeper goals might be ones we were completely unconscious of and probably couldn’t even articulate.
What happens, Blair explained, is that when we meet that deeper, unconscious goal, we “let go” of our focus on the original goal and it isn’t achieved, because it wasn’t what we wanted on the deeper level anyway. I was curious. Was this true for me? Could I find deeper goals that I did meet even though I didn’t meet the goals I wrote down? So I started looking, I was happily surprised!
With each goal, I hadn’t met, I reflected… “What did I accomplish related to or on my way to this goal?”
Here’s some examples I found from my life. While I had a goal to be married and have children, I never had a goal to be deeply aware and conscious in my romance. I have that now. I never had a goal to love and respect myself enough to be transparently authentic and set clear boundaries in my relationships. I have that now. I never had a goal to see the greatness in a man. I so have that now.
I set many goals to have a body that was just the right size and shape and I never had a goal to have a relationship with my body where there was appreciation, respect and love. And now each of those continues to grow deeper.
I had goals to be financially free and abundant. I had goals to live in the ideal home. I never had a goal to be happy and love my life. Wow… I am happy and I LOVE my life.
I never wrote down a goal to be able to surrender, or be orgasmic, or be able to let myself fall apart… all of which I can do now and they make my life so much richer.
Reflecting back, I wouldn’t trade the goals I actually achieved for the goals I set. I’ve achieved and become so much more over the years than I could have ever imagined. Most of those things are now the best parts of my life and they certainly would never have made my resolutions list! It’s ok that I’m not married or the perfect weight or financially free. I have so much more! This is why I celebrated. I was shocked by how much had happened in those years when I “didn’t” achieve my goals or keep my resolutions.
And, there’s no reason I can’t have those original goals too. I just recognize the divine timing in all of it now.
So my suggestion to you this week, as you reflect on goals and resolutions gone by, if there is something you didn’t achieve, look deeper – What did you experience, learn or achieve along the way? What did happen in your life? How does that make you feel? If you’re at all like me, those other “achievements” will be the ones that really make you feel good, that make you proud. Celebrate these wildly! Tell a close friend. Really celebrate what happened and this will kick off the process of attracting your 2011 dreams.
As a quick note, if you’re having trouble seeing what you did accomplish and achieve, then notice are you often critical of yourself? This was me and how I so often got stuck in the past. If this is you, find someone – me, a workshop, a friend, anyone – to help you see release those judgments, honor and love yourself, and celebrate the greatness that absolutely exists in you!
The more greatness you see in you, the more greatness you’ll attract into your life!
Now, when you set a goal or intention this year, I invite you to really listen to your heart and soul. Listen to the deeper calling. Our mind wants to tell us what we should have, what we should do, what we should accomplish. Listen to your heart and you’ll have so much more!
Listen to your heart. Let your heart, your soul speak any goals you set this year.
“What do I really want at the deepest levels? What does my heart want?
What is my soul longing for?”
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.