relationship advice for men

Relationship Advice for Men: 30 Practical Ways to Sustain Love and Intimacy

The best relationship advice for men who love more feminine women should do two things. First, it has to address the wholeness of a relationship and its many facets, layers, and experiences. In that, it has to consider the good, the bad, and the downright hard. Also with those many facets, it has to offer a contrast of the innate differences between the masculine and feminine energies that run within us and between us which create (or dampen) attraction. Second, the most useful relationship advice for men has to be practical in a way that it can apply to the everyday situations of life. 

Here you’ll find this advice broken down into 3 groups of 10 practices. We’ll start with new relationship advice for men and even if you’ve been married for decades you still need to master these fundamentals. 

We’ll continue with general advice to get you through both the wonders and the challenges of relating. Then we’ll explore the best intimate and sexual relationship advice for men. We conclude with these 10 intimacy and sexuality suggestions because they depend on the previous 20.

Enjoy and here’s to your successful relationship… 

New relationship advice for men 

Even though you might already be years or decades into a romantic relationship, what happens at the beginning of a new relationship sets the stage for what happens between you and your partner over the course of time. Your actions early on will, for better or worse, impact the long term quality of the connection, sexuality, and happiness you share, as well as the longevity of your relationship. 

The success of any relationship depends on how you show up – how you show up when it’s going well and, more importantly, how you show up when it feels anything but easy. These first 10 pieces of advice set the foundation for everything that happens within your relationship. 

#1 Trust yourself.  Trust sets the cornerstones of your relationship foundation and that trust starts with trusting yourself. if you can’t trust you, then how could she trust you? Looking deeper, if she can’t trust you, then how can she, the feminine, hope to surrender in love and ecstasy with you? Some doubts of course naturally arise. And, if you’re doubting yourself more than trusting your own integrity and inner knowing, you’ll want to spend some time making changes here. 

#2 Take the lead (and include her).  In relationships based on masculine and feminine polarity, the masculine initiates in dating and in relating. If you want to maintain your initial magnetic attraction, then you’ll want to keep leading the majority of the time. Of course she will initiate at times, and if you want her to remain feminine and receptive, you can’t expect things to be balanced when it comes to initiating and making plans. So, continue asking her out on dates and making plans for the two of you most of the time. And, of course, include her needs, wants, desires, and agreement in those plans. 

#3 Keep your word.  The value of your word matters immensely to the feminine. Your word and your integrity go hand in hand. If the feminine discovers that you don’t stand by the things you say, her respect will erode, she’ll lose her ability to trust you, and, over time, she’ll even lose her capacity to orgasm with you. Yes. Your word matters. This however doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. If you can’t keep your word, simply let her know ahead of time and make other arrangements.  

#4 Be authentic.  We fall in love with real. True love embraces the whole person – the good, the not-so-good, and even the ugly. When you pretend to be what you’re not, or try to please her too much, you lose yourself. Then because you’re not actually being your real self, you won’t trust that she truly loves you, the genuine you. Plus if you haven’t been authentic, who is she falling in love with? Who is she in this new relationship with? Inauthenticity at the beginning, even with small stuff, creates significant pain down the road. 

#5 Speak feelings.  Emotions are the language of intimacy and intimacy forms the bond that keeps relationships together through the ups and downs. If you want a strong relationship from the start that lasts the tests of time, then learn how to feel and express your emotions. It’s not about being overly emotional. It’s about having the capacity to feel and be emotionally available. In a masculine being, your emotions will come through your groundedness, not take you away from it. 

#6 Discover her.  Continue getting to know her just as you were when you were dating. Even if you are married for decades, there will be something new to learn every day. So stay attuned. Listen. Ask questions. Most importantly at this stage, pay particular attention to getting to know her turn-ons, turn-offs, boundaries as well as what puts a smile on her face. Then show her that you see and remember who she is and what she likes. 

#7 Be honest.  Similar to keeping your word and being authentic, be honest from the start. Do not tell her what she wants to hear. Tell her the truth. She may not always like what you say, but she’ll respect you and she’ll know she can trust you – both of which are prerequisites for sustained love between the masculine and feminine. When it comes to relationship advice for men, remember this: She wants to trust you, but she can’t if you don’t consistently tell the truth.  

#8 Be courageous in the face of her emotions. As we said, emotions are the language of intimacy. They are also a primary expression of the feminine. So if you want to have a lasting relationship with a feminine woman, then you’ll want to find the courage to be with her emotions – the easy and the not-so-easy. She wants to know she is safe to be her full self in your presence. She needs to know her vulnerability, tenderness, and even anger are welcome. She wants to see that you will hold her in her feelings and not run from them. Plus, if you want to keep upsets as short as possible, you value this skill. 

#9  Remember to hold her hand and cuddle. In the beginning, the hormones of sexual attraction can run high in both of you. Sometimes the feminine’s heart can’t be forgotten in this. If it is, the sexual chemistry will start to fade much faster than it needs to. So remember to take her hand in parking lots, across the table, and anywhere you have the chance. If you really want to be appreciated and well loved by the feminine, regularly cuddle with her without having sex afterwards.  

#10 Stay present and true to you. In the beginning especially, move at your pace. Don’t try to do things the way you think you’re supposed to or in the way you think she wants you too. Look for and honor your natural rhythm and timing. And, of course, allow her hers. At the times when your two rhythms don’t align, lean fully on your communications skills. No matter what, stay present first to the moment, then to you, and then to her.  

Notice that this list of the best relationship advice for men at the beginning of a relationship starts and ends with you. It actually doesn’t matter what stage your relationship is in, the bottom line is that the strength of a relationship with anyone depends on – is expanded by or limited by – the strength of the relationship with you. Stay true to you and trust yourself the whole time you’re interacting with the feminine. 

How to maintain and sustain your relationship 

We’ll keep going deep with more day to day advice that you can rely on in any, every, situation. 

#1 Hold Presence.  We finished with being present to yourself in the “new relationship advice for men” section. Now let’s take that a bit further. The masculine has an inherently powerful capacity to focus. When that focus is conscious it turns into presence. And a feminine woman craves nothing more than her masculine man’s presence. It’s the number one thing her heart needs. It’s a huge part of what makes her feel safe in bed. When you are with her, bring your full presence. Stop the distractions and be with her.    

#2  Maintain Your Masculinity.  Yes, we touched on the importance of taking the lead in the early stages of a relationship and there’s more to it. In today’s go-go-go world many truly feminine women have come to live more actively in their masculine energy. Although most don’t intend to, they bring that masculine energy into their romantic relationships. Then their masculine partners, attempting to be supportive, let the feminine take the lead. Which means that all too frequently masculine men maintain their masculine energy in their professional lives, but when they come home, the polarity reverses and those same men follow more. This leading on the part of the feminine will eventually create resentment in her and turn her off. Then the relationship struggles and suffers. Pay attention at the first sign of feeling any emasculation. Talk about the polarity dynamics and do whatever you can to stay in your masculine. 

#3 Protect her.  In romantic relationship, even if she wants to deny it because she’s afraid it will make her look weak, a feminine woman wants to feel safe. She wants to feel safe physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Now and in the future. At the same time, the truth is you can’t make her feel safe, but you can contribute to her sense of safety. You can be protective. Sometimes it’s the simplest stuff that makes the biggest difference. Make plans for the future. Lock the doors at night. Walk on the outside of the sidewalk. And know it’s ok to be a hero. 

#4 Don’t solve her problems.  Even though the feminine wants to feel safe and protected, she is also quite capable of running her own life. The truth is, she will often want your opinion and perspective, but let her come to you for it. When she’s sharing about a struggle, the feminine often works out her solution as she talks. So practice just listening. Be a sounding board. And, if you really want to offer a suggestion, ask first if she wants your input. 

#5 Keep your heart open.  Keeping your heart open isn’t always easy. Relationships, especially soulmate relationships, can be uncomfortable and even painful at times. Yet extraordinary love unfolds when you have the courage to meet that discomfort and stay open and available for love. This is true for every relationship and when it comes to loving the feminine, it’s an absolute must. The feminine melts for a man who embodies the divine masculine

#6 Commit to resolving conflict.  This is one of the most important pieces of relationship advice for men. Relationships fail because people avoid conflict. The conflict does not cause breakups. The avoidance of conflict causes breakups and divorces. Yes, you may want to get the upset over with, but when you try to get beyond it without addressing the situation directly for you and her, the upset lives on. Embrace conflict. Don’t be willing to let it sit. It’s powerful for the masculine to take the initiative to bring up issues. Then stay with the conversation until it’s truly done, even if you have to revisit it multiple times. Otherwise she’ll be talking about it years later, because men and women argue differently.  

#7 Communicate.  Without communication a relationship will not work. If you want an open heart, if you want good sex, if you want to stay together, learn to be a masterful relationship communicator. Period. End of Story. You will never regret the investment you make in your communication skills. 

#8 Cherish her.  The feminine wants to feel like she’s number one in your world. She may not want to admit that, but underneath that’s how she feels. Yet despite that feminine desire, purpose not connection, is a masculine being’s top priority. This can feel like a dilemma and it’s all about how you make her feel during your connections, however long or frequent they may be. When you can’t be together a lot, especially when you’re married or living together, the little things in between your connections – such a quick phone call to say I love you or a sweet text – will do wonders to help a feminine being feel cherished. 

#9 Value her.  In masculine speak, valuing a woman means appreciating all she does to make your life better. If you pay attention, your feminine partner likely contributes a lot to your life. Those contributions may seem simple or even mundane. But any man in a happy long term relationship who offers relationship advice for men will tell you that making her feel appreciated makes all the difference in the world when it comes to her happiness and yours. 

#10 Don’t expect her to be like you.  Drop any expectation of her showing up in the world like you do. If you love a feminine woman you can’t expect her to regularly demonstrate more masculine qualities. You might imagine life would be better if she embodied more of your approach to life, but in the end you won’t be happy and your sex life will suffer. So, don’t expect her to be rational and logical in the ways you are. Don’t expect her to compartmentalize in the way you do. Don’t expect her to talk less. You get the picture. 

Intimate and sexual relationship advice for men

Now that you have a sense of the best ways to show up and relate to a feminine woman in the whole of your relationship, let’s look at the most important relationship advice for men when it comes to intimacy and sexuality. You may or may not realize it yet, but what happens (or doesn’t) in the bedroom with the feminine, depends wholly on what happens outside the bedroom.

So while you might find yourself tempted to skip over the 20 suggestions above and just focus on the passion, you also might find your efforts wasted. Worse yet, you can actually create more separation and less sex when you don’t come from a holistic approach. Integrate all 30 pieces of relationship advice for men and you’ll have much more success in love and in bed. 

#1 Focus on her.  If you are being physically intimate with your partner, or you want to be physically intimate with her, then you’ll both have the best experiences if you put your focus on her. Focus means you have your attention on one thing, and in this case, it needs to be her. Like presence and cherishing her, described above, she wants to feel like the only thing that matters. 

#2 Own your sexuality but don’t make it her obligation. Too many authentically masculine men have become, on some level, ashamed of their sexuality, particularly its innate intensity. Yet your authentic sexuality is absolutely sexy to the feminine when you are conscious with it and take responsibility for it. Part of being responsible for your own sexuality is that you don’t fall into the trap of thinking your partner, even in a monogamous marriage, should meet your sexual needs. The desire for that is great, the expectation of it is not. The “should” turns into obligation, and then you’ll get less sex, guaranteed. 

#3 Be intimate emotionally and physically.  If you’re like most who seek relationship advice for men, you know what it means to be physically intimate and may wonder why it’s not happening more. Although physical intimacy matters, if you’re in a relationship with a feminine woman, you’ll need to develop your capacity for emotional intimacy and physical intimacy. (You’ll find 22 quick hints for creating emotional intimacy here.)  The feminine gets to her sexuality through her heart so you’ll want to learn how to meet her there. 

#4 Be sensual and romantic.  Again, we know that men and women, and the masculine and feminine energy they embody, express very differently in intimate relationships. One of the big differences arises in the area of sensuality. The feminine is sensual at her essence. If you want your feminine partner to experience the most happiness and the most pleasure, learn how to pleasure her senses. Learn what makes her squirm in delight. And to your potential surprise, that will be so much more than the act of intercourse. Awakening her sensuality brings the feminine alive, and romantic experiences by nature inspire the senses.  

#5 Slow down.  There’s a reason a song with the title “Slow Hand” has been so popular. Simply, if you want a woman to feel the most pleasure, you have to go slow more than you go fast. There is a time and place for fast of course, but not as often as you might think. She can’t actually can’t feel the depths and intensity of ecstatic pleasure when you’re moving fast. We often talk about this in our Conscious Sexuality retreats, because it’s so commonly misunderstood. Slow down. Build anticipation. 

#6 Never forget how much foreplay matters.  One of the most common physical intimacy issues couples face is the different pacing of the masculine and feminine. The fire is slower – much slower – to build in a feminine being. When you, as a man, understand and embrace that fact you’ll come to appreciate the power of good sustained foreplay. It’s an experience in and of itself, not just a prerequisite for the main event. If you remember to go slow in your foreplay and let her know, as the song says, “I’ve got time,” the two of you can start to enjoy the best lovemaking of your lives. 

#7 Realize that how you dress can turn her on.  This might sound silly and insignificant when it comes to important relationship advice for men. Yet women say it so often, and so many men don’t want to believe them, that it bears mentioning here. How you show up in the world, including how you dress, has a significant impact on her turn-on. Or not.  

#8 Remember that most feminine women want to be ravished. When it comes to masculine and feminine polarity, ravishing and being ravished play an important role in the physical intimacy dance. Each couple must explore their own desires and their own boundaries. And, when a woman feels safe, and has given consent, she will tend to want to be the one who is kissed up against the wall. She’ll want to be the one who is “thrown” down on the bed. She’ll want to be able to surrender into her pleasure. Learn 6 ways to make her feel safer in bed

#9 Kiss her well. We said physical intimacy matters above and too many couples forget that physical intimacy is more than sex. When it comes to those who sustain love and intimacy, kissing remains an essential part of their connection, inside and outside the bedroom. Learn to kiss your feminine partner well. Learn to kiss her lips well. Learn to kiss her whole body sensually. Her heart will thank you. Her body will thank you. And, together you’ll enjoy much more happiness and passion. 

#10 Initiate. Sustaining chemistry, attraction and passion over the years of a relationship, depends on maintaining the opposite polarity of the masculine and the feminine. In its most foundational expression, the masculine initiates and the feminine receives. Yes, sometimes those polarities will reverse and she’ll initiate, but most of the time, the more masculine partner needs to initiate plans, dates, and lovemaking. In other words, when the feminine is expected to initiate too often, she has to shift out of her feminine energy and that eventually becomes a turn-off for her. 

When it comes to having a great relationship, you may want the quick fix. You may want the simple answer. Yet there are no simple answers when it comes to intimate and romantic relationships. There are practical suggestions coupled with great relationship advice for men, but it just stays advice unless you practice it.

Practice the suggestions here. Look at them in practical ways. Start applying them to the simplest of everyday interactions so you’ll know what to do when things get tough. 

Anyone who has mastered anything knows that the greatest masterpieces arise from the subtle intricacies. So will you dabble in the ok-ness of your craft as a partner and a lover, or will you master it? 

Since 2006, highly conscious men and women, with a commitment to extraordinary relationships, have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy to find and cultivate Soul Partnerships from their bedrooms to their boardrooms. Ecstatic Intimacy believes in coveted relationships, for all. 

You too, are invited…

*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.

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