What do you imagine when you imagine sacred love? What if I said sacred intimacy or sacred sex? What images come to mind? What thoughts come to mind? What feelings arise in your body?
When I share the idea with couples and singles, some immediately say “Yes! Please!” while others turn their nose up, thinking “No… I’ll keep my everyday normal relationship. I’m happy with my raw fun sex life… Or they’ll say “I don’t want to get all serious about love and sex. Can’t we just have fun?!”
They miss the point. Sacred doesn’t mean you can’t have what you have now. It doesn’t mean you can’t have raw sex. What it means is that you can have more. When you bring a “sacred” approach to your relationship (or dating) it opens up entirely new dimensions of love and lovemaking… entirely new experiences of authenticity and intimacy.
The third definition of sacred in the Merriem-Webster dictionary is…
“Highly valued and important: deserving great respect and reverence”
Why would we not want that in relationship?
Well, here are some of the reasons I’ve seen…
I don’t want that much responsibility
I don’t care that much.
I’d rather have fun.
That’s too serious.
But the sacred is real. Sacred means honoring something we respect… honoring something that matters.
And, isn’t it interesting that we want love and relationship…
we want them to last…
we want passionate sex to come with them…
but we don’t hold them sacred.
In other words, we don’t honor love… we don’t respect our relationship… we don’t treasure it as something deeply valuable.
We don’t give love and intimacy the respect they deserve. And along with that, our partners don’t often get the respect and reverence that they deserve.
No wonder we have so many failed marriages… so many wash-rinse-and-repeat cycles of breaking up and starting over.
What would happen if you started holding love, relationship, intimacy and sex as sacred?
How would you treat it differently?
Did you know that in the Sanskrit language, the language of Tantra and Sacred Sexuality, the term for vagina is “yoni” which means sacred space. Women, what would it be like if your vagina because a sacred space to be honored, cherished and respected? Men, what would it be like if you approached a woman’s sexual center with such reverence? What if it was a high honor that you got to visit it… or possibly enter it?
Men, it is a high honor.
Women, it’s time for you to honor you too.
I wonder how a woman might open more. I wonder how she might trust more. I wonder how she might surrender more deeply into pleasure.
I invite you to start approaching love, sex and intimacy as if they were sacred.
It doesn’t mean you can’t have a whole lot of fun in a sacred place! You can! I know!
And, I wonder if love might just get more powerful… I wonder if sex might get more passionate…
I wonder if you hold love as sacred if that might just attract an amazing partner into your life…
I wonder if it might rekindle a shaky relationship…
Try it and let me know…
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.