Do you suffer from “the scary known?”
Many times when faced with a choice, we find ourselves considering everything, weighing the positives and negatives, and trying to “logic” our way through the choice. Unfortunately, we tend not to notice the “sub-routines”, the sub-conscious programs running in our primitive brain that have so much influence on our decisions.
As you read this article you may discover your own thought processes that block for your own growth and success. You may recognize where you suffer from the “scary known” and it might inspire you to take the next steps on your path to love.
It’s sometimes difficult to make changes in our selves and take on new behaviors or activities that are outside of our normal routine… the routine, the way of being, you have grown comfortable with. It may feel like it’s a lot easier, even safer, to stay where you are… with what you know… than to make changes… even if you think the changes might be good for you.
This is called the “scary known” thought process. It means, that regardless of how much you want to change the current situation or don’t like the current situation, you at least know the situation and you know the likely outcomes, pitfalls, and feelings.
You are likely to stay in the scary… but comfortable … known.
At the same time, you have little to no risk of feeling more hurt or lonelier doing what you’re doing or being how you are being. Many of us have resolved ourselves to the fact that it “can’t get any worse” or we justify our stagnant choices with excuses about time, money, the belief that there is nothing more to learn, or that things are “ok.”
If you do this, you’re not alone in your thought process. Regardless of how good you think change could be or that new ways of being or new behaviors could potentially make your life much better, the fear of the unknown is a powerful driver and a tool that our reptilian survival brain uses masterfully.
People commonly exist in uncomfortable and lonely conditions, simply because they know and understand the current situation and are less afraid when they know what they’re up against. They often stay in the “present known” even when they know that what is likely behind the “door of change” promises to be better.
When you listen to your own inner dialogue and hear all the reasons why you should NOT change, make adjustments, or learn new skills, you can recognize this as your survival brain telling you it’s not going to be any better on the other side even when you make changes.
Your brain is not trying to be evil, or even trick you. It is simply doing what it does best… trying to protect you… from it’s perspective, it’s safer staying where you are…even if it doesn’t feel good.
Simply choosing to make one small change in the direction of your goals and desires… even if it’s only a tiny 1% change… like committing to using one new tool or following one new idea that you’ve learned in workshop or read in an article that might make your love life better… it might be to put yourself first, or stop berating yourself, or to express a compliment or gratitude… it might be to heal some of your pain from the past, it might be to start opening your heart, or remembering the needs of men and women. It doesn’t matter what it is, just make a commitment to change for you…
It is time to move beyond the scary known?
Are you ready to step beyond your comfort zone so you have the chance to have what you truly want in life? What you truly deserve?
Our experience is that if you want to exponentially grow you must choose to step beyond the resistances presented by your reptilian survival brain and follow the guidance of your higher self.
If you are really ready to dive in and move forward …
then contact us about the upcoming Single to Passionately Partnered workshop for singles or the Passionate Partnership workshop for those of you already in relationship!
We are committed to you having the love you want in your life. Just take one step forward… call us (303-956-2796) or email us with your questions. We do have payment plans and a few partial scholarships available.
We hope to see you there…
Love and blessings,
P.S. Thank you to Phill Gilliam for this inspiration for this article!
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.