It seems that almost all of us are seeking freedom and yet sometimes we don’t even realize it. It’s not that we want to be free of our jobs, or our relationships, or our homes, or even our responsibilities. And, yet when we hear someone – especially a loved one – say “I want to be free!” we think, “Oh, they want to be free of me, they don’t want to take care of me/us anymore.” This couldn’t be further from the truth.
What that loved one is really looking for…what each of us longs for in our hearts is real freedom. The freedom we truly seek is the freedom to be ourselves – to be real – to not have to hide what we feel, what we
desire, or anything about who we really are. It takes so much energy to keep up our masks and shields. We discover, feel and experience real freedom when we drop the masks and shields, when we let go of the baggage we have carried with us from the past into this moment and when we release ourselves from the binds of old beliefs and conditioning that were never really ours in the first place.
What if you could be honest about what you do or don’t want, what if you didn’t have to hide your tears or your anger, what if you didn’t have to carry the weight of past traumas and hurts? Can you imagine just
lifting the weight of childhood pain, past relationships, old disappointments, and whatever else just doesn’t feel good and putting it down on the ground next to you? Feel how much lighter, how much freer you feel.
A former romantic partner wrote me an email very early in our relationship that said “I want you to be able to truly know me – everything about me – I want to be able to share with you the good, the bad and the ugly.” My heart melted, and I thought, “I want that too.” Then as we embarked on our relationship, we realized just how challenging that was for us… how much conditioning and fear we had around really being able to share our most vulnerable, embarrassing, wounded, scary parts. True exposure came slowly and we both felt the most free when were honest – totally honest – nothing hidden.
So how do you permanently let go of this old weight, how do you fully expose yourself and let the real you shine through? Take it one step at a time.
Sometime this week I invite you to take some time and really be honest with a friend or a loved one and share something (or maybe a few things!) that you’ve felt embarrassed about or that you’ve felt you needed to keep hidden, or something for which you’re afraid you”ll be judged. Maybe it’s an old hurt, an old guilt, or maybe it’s a dream!
Share yourself this week.
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.