self love words

Self Love Words: 77 Ways to Say I Love You to Yourself

Knowing the variety of self love words that allow you to both express love to yourself and feel loved matters immensely. For many, the entire concept of self love seems vague at best. Too often when we think of loving ourselves, we think of doing things for ourselves. Yet, while we do nice things for ourselves, we might also harbor a very critical inner voice. We might speak to ourselves in ways that we would never speak to another, which creates an inner experience that’s far from self loving. 

Therefore it’s important to develop a vocabulary of self love words. Whether we speak to ourselves out loud or simply silently in our own head, we want to learn to speak with love. No, speaking words of self love is not conceited or egotistical. It is kind, compassionate, and inspiring. Self love words actually bring out the best in us. 

Learning to speak to yourself this way may feel uncomfortable or awkward initially. A part of us might even think of speaking self love words as dumb. Yet, the more weird or strange it feels, the more important it is that you practice saying these kinds of loving words to yourself.

Below you’ll find 67 different phrases that you can say to yourself that express self love. After that you’ll find some tangible ways to embody and put your self love words into action. Finally, we’ll give you a way to come up with your own personal self love words.  


How to say “I Love You” to yourself 

This initial set of self love words and phrases incorporate many different ways to love, appreciate, and acknowledge yourself. You’ll quickly notice many of the same things you would say if you wanted to express love to another. Now, it’s time to say those words to you too. 

In the beginning as you develop your comfort and capacity to speak lovingly to yourself, you may want to say these words while looking at yourself in the mirror. Saying them to yourself as you go to sleep at night also has great power. 

  1. I adore you
  2. I respect you
  3. I value you
  4. I cherish you 
  5. I admire you
  6. I appreciate you
  7. I so appreciate ________ about you 
  8. I appreciate your ___________ 
  9. I admire you because ________
  10. I think you are amazing because _____ 
  11. You’re so talented
  12. Great job, NAME
  13. You’ve improved so much
  14. You tried, that’s all that matters
  15. It’s ok that you _______ 
  16. You’re so courageous
  17. You’re so kind
  18. I’m so grateful for you 
  19. I’m so grateful for your  ____________
  20. You are so special because ________
  21. I believe in you
  22. I’m so proud of you 
  23. I trust you
  24. You’re such a good parent / daughter / son / kid / friend / neighbor
  25. You’re such a great cook / artist / designer / craftsman / writer 
  26. You’re extraordinary because ________ 
  27. You make the world better because _______
  28. You’re perfect just the way you are
  29. You don’t need to change
  30. You are completely accepted
  31. Take your time
  32. It’s ok to ask for help
  33. You don’t have to if you don’t want to 
  34. You’re enough
  35. You’re more than enough
  36. You’re brilliant
  37. You’re so smart
  38. You’ve got an amazing heart
  39. You’ve got an amazing mind
  40. You did your best and that’s enough
  41. I forgive you 

Self love words when you’re lonely

Sometimes one of the hardest times to express words of self love is when we’re feeling alone, when we wish we were with another. Yet, even though we want to hear the words from someone else, the very best thing we can do for ourselves is to offer ourselves expressions of connection and love. The more we can tend to and care for our own hearts when we’re alone, the more we can receive the loving words of affection from another later. 

The truth is, if we want to have a strong and deep relationship with another, we must first have a strong and deep relationship with ourselves. Many people don’t want to hear that, and even think the thought to be ridiculous. Yet, here’s the problem. If we’re lonely and longing for love we may feel a hole within that wants to be filled with love. If we don’t fill that hole ourselves, we will go and try to find someone else to fill it. Yet when we do that, in our desperation to feel loved, we too often settle for much less than the true love we deserve. 

Your heart and your happiness will be much better served by speaking these self love words that affirm your connection, care, and commitment to yourself. 

  1. I’ve got you
  2. I’ve got your back
  3. I’m with you
  4. I’ll never leave you
  5. I see you
  6. I feel you
  7. I understand you
  8. I welcome your tears
  9. Tell me what you’re feeling 
  10. You get to do anything you want right now.
  11. Let’s go snuggle
  12. You matter

Self love words for the body

Another way many struggle to love themselves is in loving their bodies. We have culturally been conditioned to judge every potential imperfection of our bodies. Yet our inability to love our physical form impacts self-esteem and health as well as physical and emotional intimacy. Both men’s and women’s body image issues can make self talk way too critical. 

Alternatively, you can begin to change your relationship with your body by incorporating these self love words and phrases into your regular inner dialog with yourself. 

  1. You are so beautiful
  2. You’re _______ is / are beautiful
  3. I love your curves
  4. I love your  ______
  5. You are sexy
  6. You’re hot! 
  7. You have a great _____
  8. You have sexy ____
  9. You’re so strong
  10. I like the way you feel
  11. You move so powerfully / gracefully
  12. You have wonderful ___________
  13. I so appreciate how you take care of and support me
  14. Thank you for being my body

Cool ways to send love to yourself 

Now that you’ve learned a variety of ways to speak lovingly to yourself, let’s consider a few practical ways to put these self love words into action. The more you feel and even embody the love you offer to yourself, the more profoundly you will be changed by your practice. 

In addition to changing the dialog you have with yourself, you’re invited to pair your words with active or tangible expressions of love. 

  1. Leave love notes around the house for yourself 
  2. Send yourself an adoring text
  3. Record a voice memo saying I love you and send it to yourself 
  4. Put a sticky note that says something loving on your bathroom mirror, or computer, or both
  5. Post something you appreciate about you on your Facebook wall
  6. Pick a love song you like and sing it to yourself
  7. Write a love poem to you 
  8. Pat yourself on the back and say something loving to yourself out loud
  9. Whisper self love words to yourself when you put your head on your pillow
  10. Frame a photo of you in a ‘love’ frame

Authentic self love takes time and commitment. Learning a self love vocabulary will support you immensely on that journey to knowing how to love yourself well. So while the suggested self love words above are powerful, let’s take a moment to outline the steps you can take to find your own personal words. Your genuinely inspired words, spoken lovingly to you, will have the greatest impact on your heart and your life.

To find your own personal expressions of love in any moment, you’ll want to first slow down and get present to your experience of yourself. Then from your presence, genuinely acknowledge something you appreciate, love, or admire about yourself in that moment. It could be something you’re doing that took courage or it could be an improvement you’ve made. You could appreciate yourself for learning something new or for simply being real, which is always a gift to you and others. No matter what, find the good in you and express it to yourself. 

It takes courage and a commitment to love to say these kinds of self love words to yourself. Yet every one of these words and phrases offers a different possibility for embracing and loving you. Will you offer yourself the compassion, acceptance, and kindness your heart longs for?  We can only hope. 


Since 2006, highly conscious men and women, with a commitment to extraordinary relationships, have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy to find and cultivate Soul Partnerships from their bedrooms to their boardrooms. Ecstatic Intimacy believes in coveted relationships, for all. 

You too, are invited…

*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.

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3 Comments

  1. Kathy Dundorf on March 3, 2024 at 2:20 pm

    Thank you for sharing this.

  2. Catherine Houston on March 3, 2024 at 3:55 pm

    Brings tears to my being. Thank you, Joanna. Such medicine.✨♥️✨

  3. Chris Benning on March 7, 2024 at 11:47 am

    Beautiful Practice

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