soul connection

Soul Connection: Understanding the Power, Blessings, and Challenges

A soul connection, by definition brings something meaningful to our life. But more than meaningful, it often brings an essential element necessary for our fulfillment on this journey of being human. The power and purpose of a soul connection may be revealed quite quickly. It can be complete within a few minutes, yet other times a soul connection reveals its deepest purpose over a lifetime relationship.

What is a soul connection? Well, first let’s define what is a soul? Every human being has a soul and that soul is unique to each individual. In other words, every person has a unique reason and purpose for being on this planet right now. Our soul represents the unique qualities, expressions, and gifts we are each born with and that only we ourselves can bring to the world. With that, our soul also has specific lessons to learn such that it can fully embody, express, and give its gifts to humanity.

That’s where soul connections come in. Our soul connections are designed to help us evolve our souls and actualize its greatest gifts. While most people believe that soul connections are purely beautiful and magical, that happens to be one of the fallacies that causes us undue pain. The truth is that yes, all soul connections have a divine magic to them, and those connections are not always easy or comfortable, at least not all the time.  

This is why too many people walk away from soulmate relationships. Soulmates is another way to describe lasting soul connections. Soulmates tend to come together for longer periods of time, sometimes in the form of lifetime romantic relationships, in order to serve each other’s souls. In a moment we’ll explore the special qualities and challenges of these important romantic soul connections. 

Beyond romantic connections, we will also over the course of our lives experience many different types of soul connections and each one of those connections will offer something important to our life’s journey. The question is will we have the courage to accept the gift? Will we make the commitment to walk this courageous soul path?


Signs of a soul connection

While not every soul connection will appear in the same way or feel the same in our bodies, we can identify some common signs of a soul connection. Depending on the type and purpose of the soul connection, some of these signs may apply and several may not. As Brian Chalker says in his poem, some come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. 

In particular, those short, sweet, often potent and short-lived “reason” connections may only reveal a couple of the signs. On the other hand, those with lifetime soul connection relationships may experience many of these signs over the years. 

It bears repeating as we look at the signs of a soul connection that these soul encounters don’t always feel good. They are not meant to always feel good. And that is the most common misunderstanding when it comes to soulmates and soul connections. 

Soul connections are not always supposed to sweep us off our feet and make us smile. They too are designed to make us uncomfortable, to make us stretch, to call us out of comfortable hiding places, to bring light to our shadows, and to invite us to become all of who we are meant to be. 

So pay close attention to the feel good signs and the uncomfortable yet powerful signs so that you don’t walk away from important soul relationships before they are complete.


The feel good signs

  1. You hold similar things precious and important in life; you hold similar values, passions or purposes
  2. They quickly feel familiar, as if you’ve known them for a long time. You often experience a sense of “home” when with them
  3. You feel an inexplicable draw towards them
  4. You feel understood with little explanation
  5. You experience a sense of awe or wonder around them
  6. They see and celebrate you, often better than you see and celebrate yourself
  7. You experience a sense of alignment which creates a sense of trust, even in the most challenging moments
  8. It feels like your relationship has a bigger purpose even if you’re not sure what that purpose is; you just sense a power in your relationship
  9. They bring out the best in you

The uncomfortable, yet powerful signs

  1. They are masters at pushing your buttons. 
  2. They irritate, frustrate, or annoy you to significant levels 
  3. They want or do the very opposite of what you want or do
  4. They invite you to stretch your comfort zones
  5. Directly or indirectly, they challenge you to be more of who you truly are
  6. You sometimes want to run to escape the power and discomfort of your connection 
  7. They bring out the worst in you

It might seem like you want to steer clear of everyone in the second category, yet this is where the potency of and potential for unconditional love exists. That potential is one of the greatest lessons every soul is here to learn. 

Our soul connections teach us about love – love of self, love of other, love of all. 

Let’s also be clear that while the challenging people who show up in your life are truly soul connections, that does not mean they need to be there for long, certainly not for a lifetime or even a season. Some of the challenging soul connections arrive to teach us self love, self honor, and self respect. They arrive to help us stop the harm of self abandonment. They come into our lives to invite us to stand up for ourselves and claim our true power while remaining open to love. Soul connections might be here to teach us the difference between healthy vs unhealthy boundaries

As you pay attention to the signs, pay attention to your own body and being. Ask yourself, how is this soul connection in service to me? How am I in service to this soul? Then listen deeply. 


When you have a romantic soul connection 

Romantic soul connections carry a special power for each partner. Without a doubt any lasting romantic connection exists for the purpose of inviting and inspiring each partner to be all of who they were meant to be when they were born. 

Our romantic partners have the greatest potential to influence our soul’s growth. They have this power because they are usually the most intimate relationships we’ll ever have. Our romantic soul connections require us to meet not just romantically or physically, they invite us to unite heart, mind, body, spirit and soul. They invite us into divine union.

Yet, again, because of the potential depth, vulnerability, and hence intimacy of these soul partnerships, because they invite us to expose ourselves in naked authenticity, they carry the potential for both great pain and great pleasure, depending on how we approach them. 

Romantic soul connections reveal both our wonderfulness and our impossibleness. Said another way, our romantic soul connections have power because they ask us to reveal the beauty as well as the mess of our humanness. Of course they invite us to show our greatness, the parts of us that are so easy to fall in love with. Yet, they also encourage us to show the not-so-good sides of ourselves. They invite us to be fully real.

That kind of deep authentic soul intimacy asks us to love each other when it seems we least deserve it. As we said above, soul connections, and especially romantic soul connections, hold the profoundly important power to teach us deeply about love – most importantly about unconditional love of self and unconditional love of our partner.

It is why spiritual love and soul love teach us how conflict turns into communion if we stay open, present and authentic. Our strongest and most lasting bonds form when we walk through the challenges of our soul connection so that we may know the deepest benefits, the deepest of love. The rewards are profound. 


In short, a soul connection might show up as your future spouse and it might show up as someone to say no to and not include in your life, or anything in between. Your practice is to recognize soul connections, learn how to navigate them, nourish them when appropriate, and open yourself to both their blessings and their challenges. 

When we allow ourselves to step into them, soul connections create a crucible that reveals true authenticity, intimacy, and ecstasy – the foundational elements of the path soul love – within us, between us and beyond us. 

Soul connections may show up at times and in ways that we wholeheartedly welcome; they may also show up when we don’t know we’re ready. They may bring us gifts we didn’t know we needed or desired. Yet they have come to us to serve our deepest heart, our most profound love, and our greatest human joys. 

If you sense a soul connection and you don’t yet feel courageous enough to step into it, it’s ok. You can relax knowing that if we don’t accept an offering, if we’re not ready to receive the gift right now, life will bring us the opportunity again later. Maybe the next opportunity will happen with the same person, maybe with someone else. However, you can trust that life always conspires for your soul’s fulfillment. 


Since 2006, highly conscious men and women, with a commitment to extraordinary relationships, have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy to find and cultivate Soul Partnerships from their bedrooms to their boardrooms. Ecstatic Intimacy believes in coveted relationships, for all. 

You too, are invited…

*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.

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