Spiritual Marriage: Understanding the Types and Rituals

A spiritual marriage will take you on a journey into the very heart of Love. It will invite you to commune with the sacred. Yet, as you’ll see here, what each person or couple considers ‘the sacred’ may vary based on personal experience, cultural traditions, religious beliefs, or even the absence of religious beliefs. You will see that a spiritual marriage can take on many forms. You’ll also see that it requires a connection to something bigger than, and beyond, oneself or one’s relationship.

Within a spiritual marriage you will find the presence of what some call God and others might call the Universe, Great Spirit, the Divine, Goddess, or a variety of other common names for this sacred infinite presence that lives within, between and beyond all of us. As you’ll see in a moment, the presence of this force – this field, this embrace – of what we call here, the Divine, becomes the life blood, and the sustaining element, in any spiritual marriage, no matter its form.

Here we will begin our exploration by first giving the term spiritual marriage meaning. Next we’ll look at types of spiritual marriages, and outline how to have one. Finally, we will conclude with recommended prerequisites and practices for sustaining this precious union.

---

What is a spiritual marriage?

Let’s begin by explaining the meaning of spiritual marriage. We’ll do that by breaking down the two words, marriage and spiritual, to define them distinctly. Most understand the idea of marriage to be a ritual, sacrament, or ceremony between two people that is established and recognized legally. When it comes to spiritual marriage, the idea of marriage takes on a slightly different lens. In this context, we’ll define marriage as the deep and sustained union between two things. Or, to quote Merriam Webster’s third definition of marriage, it is “an intimate or close union.”

The word spiritual implies a connection or relationship to the Divine, God or a higher power as we spoke of earlier. The inclusion of this infinite and eternal presence in any part of our lives, brings a quality of sacredness, reverence, and devotion. In the presence of these, we often experience an indescribable sense of awe or wonder.  

Then, marrying the words, spiritual and marriage, brings us to the essence of what a spiritual marriage is. A spiritual marriage unites a person, in close intimate connection, with something or someone that they hold sacred and infinite. This can include anyone or anything. Let’s explore a few common forms and types of spiritual marriage.

---

Types of sacred unions

Some believe that the only form of spiritual marriage is a marriage to God or the Divine. Yet, as we mentioned, we have found other very relevant forms.

The three most common types of spiritual marriage include:

1. A marriage to the Divine itself. In this type of spiritual marriage a person may choose to hold a ceremony or ritual where they make a commitment to living in sacred union with the Divine or God. Often when this union is made the person has chosen to commit themselves to a lifelong spiritual journey. In some traditions, this might mean becoming a monk or nun. Yet, any person can make this sacred marriage and live it in everyday life.

2. A marriage to One’s Soul. Similarly, we can make a spiritual marriage with ourselves, particularly with our highest self or our soul. In this kind of self marriage we commit to living in union, alignment, and harmony with our own soul. We commit to honor our life’s purpose and we hold the Divine and its unconditional love at the center of that connection. 

3. A marriage to a Soulmate. When we have a soul connection with another human being with whom we share romantic affection, we may choose to marry that person spiritually – whether or not we marry them legally. In this case, the couple has likely chosen to live in and embody the spiritual purpose of their relationship. Again, that means they hold the Divine at the very center of their relationship.

Surprisingly to some, we are not limited to just one of these types of spiritual marriages. Those with the deepest connection to the Divine may choose all three. They may choose marriage to the divine, to their soul, and to another simultaneously. We see that when one chooses first to commit to the Divine itself, then to one’s own soul before marrying another human being, the resulting romantic partnership has an immensely strong foundation.

---

How to have a spiritual marriage

Those who have made a spiritual marriage will tend to bring both intentionality and practice to their union in order to keep their connection close with the Divine. Whether deciding to marry the Divine itself, your own soul, or another being, the union will begin your heart. If this sacred commitment is meant to be, you will clearly know deep within yourself. 

Anyone can decide to make a marriage with the Divine, or a marriage with their soul, at any point in life. For a couple, they may realize they have a spiritual connection, and therefore choose a spiritual marriage before making a legal commitment to one another. Others may legally marry, and later realize that they want to add a spiritual marriage to their legal marriage. Intention, desire, and commitment always come first.

To maintain a spiritual marriage of any type, the individual or couple may include many of the following practices. Some of the practices will of course vary depending on the type of spiritual marriage.

1. Holding reverence – When we enter into a spiritual marriage, we have, without a doubt, experienced a reverence for that which we have married, whether that be the Divine, ourselves, or a partner. In our humanness, even though we’ve chosen spiritual marriage, we may still experience hurts and upsets, even judgments. Despite any pain or judgement that we might have, in a spiritual marriage, we will seek to hold reverence.

2. An altar – As is common in many spiritual traditions, an altar holds objects that remind us of, and connect us to, that which we hold sacred. When we’ve created, or intend to create, a spiritual marriage, we may find ourselves inclined to set up a permanent altar to help us remain connected to the Divine at the center of that marriage.

3. Meditation or prayer – As you know, meditation and prayer offer anyone living a spiritual life or seeking the Divine, a pathway and a practice to deepen that connection. The same holds true for meditation and prayer in support of a spiritual marriage

4. Unconditional love – The very essence of the divine itself is unconditional love. Therefore, if we choose a path of spiritual marriage, then we are simultaneously choosing a path where we commit to unconditional love. We may not always “achieve“ unconditional love but our heart will always be drawn in that direction.

5. Sacred service – When we have chosen to make a sacred commitment with the Divine at the center, we will often realize that our spiritual journey is not a selfish one, but one in service to others as well as ourselves. We will quite often find ourselves, as part of a spiritual marriage, simultaneously called to live a sacred calling in service to others.

6. Conscious conflict – When we’re in sacred partnership, we will, as we mentioned above, still live human lives. That means our feelings will get hurt. That means we and our partners will show up unconsciously at times and not always see eye to eye. In spiritual marriage we want to hold conflict just as sacred as love itself. When we hold conflict as sacred, it leads us to a higher expression of our own souls and simultaneously into deeper love. 

7. Sacred sexuality – For those in spiritual marriage with another human being, just as you will want to hold conflict as sacred, you will also want to hold your sexuality as sacred. When we come to understand what sacred sexuality offers us, we will find yet another deep pathway to divine union.

Whether you’ve made a spiritual marriage already, or you’re contemplating making this sacred commitment, you will find that these practices serve your heart and your soul, and therefore your spiritual journey.

---

As we close, we invite you to reflect on your connection with the Divine itself. Consider how important this connection is to you. If you’re like some, you will find the pull of your relationship with the Divine so strong that you may feel compelled to make vows that reflect that deep commitment. If you feel the pull within, we encourage you to honor it. On the other hand, if you’re not sure if you’re meant to make a spiritual marriage with the Divine, then be patient. Don’t force it and don’t run from the possibility. If you listen closely, your heart will make the right path for you completely clear. 

Similarly, you may experience a pull to make vows to love, honor, and cherish your own soul. If you do, once again follow your heart.

Finally, if you are married to, or are considering marrying, someone you have a romantic soul connection with, then pay attention to how you both feel about the idea of spiritual marriage. Talk about it together. Get curious about what’s true for both of you, and follow that inner knowing. 

Always follow your inner knowing, your heart, your soul…

---

Since 2006 conscious men and women have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy to find and cultivate true love and sustainable partnerships, while also fostering their mastery of the yin and yang of relationships (masculine and feminine).

And stepping into creating their relationships consciously.