Spiritual Sex: Where Heart and Sex Unite and Spirit Leads

Spiritual sex takes us into the realms of the extraordinary. It unites us in ways beyond description, certainly beyond just the genitals of two bodies. When we have spiritual sex we unite aspects of the physical human realm with the invisible Divine realm. This leads most partners into not just ecstasy of the body, but ecstasy of the heart, mind, spirit and soul. On top of that, it offers healing to all parts of ourselves.

Here will confirm that yes, sex is spiritual. We reveal that as we answer the questions ‘what is spiritual sex’ and ‘why is sex spiritual’. From there we will continue our exploration by explaining how to have spiritual sex. Finally, we’ll conclude with an understanding of how it connects to the ancient Tantric traditions.

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What is spiritual sex?

In its simplest definition, spiritual sex is sex that includes the spiritual dimension of ourselves and, in some cases, shares that with a partner. At a deeper level, we define it as any sexual experience that can align us with and connect us to the sacred, divine and spiritual realms. 

Spiritual sex does not require intercourse, although it certainly doesn’t exclude it. It can however include any activity that ignites and amplifies our sexual energy — from kissing to touch, eye gazing, paired breathing, sensual massage, and orgasms of any kind. It requires none of these in particular, nor does it not require a partner. Although again, it of course can. In this kind of sex we – through the movement of our sexual energy combined with the opening of our heart, – can unite with our individual higher Self or soul, as well as the infinite presence known by many names, that unites all beings in oneness.

Spiritual sex often starts with an intention of highest good for ourselves, our partner, our relationship, or even for the world. However, sometimes we don’t know that a particular sexual experience will be spiritual before it happens. During what might have seemed like a rather “normal” sexual connection, we may find ourselves in an indescribable realm of energy, expansion, pleasure, and oneness that we did not anticipate nor can we fully describe. Many actually find their way to spiritual sex “accidently”. 

Finally, by definition we cannot accurately describe spiritual sex because we cannot accurately describe or define our connection to the Divine realms. Its qualities always remain just beyond true description. In short, if you’ve asked, the question ‘is sex spiritual,’ the answer could be yes or no depending on your experience. No, not all sex is spiritual. Yet for others, they desire and will have nothing but sacred sex. 

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What determines the difference between spiritual sex and non-spiritual sex? 

The difference between spiritual sex and non-spiritual sex depends on the spiritual capacity and availability of the individual or partners. If someone has a more conscious or sacred orientation in their life, whether they intend to or not, they will likely gravitate towards more spiritual sex.

If someone is awakening to their divine nature or is cultivating a relationship with their higher self, they may inadvertently discover spiritual sex while they’re having it. They will recognize it because it will have the feeling or experience of uniting with something beyond the distinct individual self. This could simply feel as if the bodies of two partners merge into one Being. It could also feel like an endless infinite connection to the cosmos. It might feel like a shower of pure Divine love, and so much more. If practicing individually, it could mean that you have an experience of your body turning into an infinite light field. For others it may feel as if the Divine is making love to you. 

In reality, lovemaking, whether spiritual or not, offers us the closest experience of Divine Union we can have in human form. 

With that, a couple or an individual may practice spiritual sex at specific intentional times during their relationship. They might make it a monthly ritual, for example. At other times, they might have sex or make love with no focus on spirit, but simply on their pleasure. For others, as we mentioned above, all sexual experiences might be held as spiritual. 

Last but not least, sex is spiritual because it has the power to manifest experiences, connections, and even healing in our life. Those who intentionally practice this combined with sex magic can be shocked by their creations. Others might simply recognize the spiritual nature of sex because it miraculously conceives a human being. In some ways, what could be more spiritual than that?

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How to have spiritual sex

Spiritual sex can take on many forms and expressions. First and foremost, if you want to know how to have spiritual sex, start by knowing that you can. In other words, release any belief systems that might tell you that sex is not spiritual. Give yourself permission to desire and have spiritual sex, regardless of your religious or cultural background. From there, it can happen anytime, anywhere.

If you’d like to be intentional about having spiritual sex, then we recommend planning it, at least initially. Planning it, even turning it into a ritual of sorts can help invoke the Divine in the space and in your pleasure. You can do this for self practice or if you’d like to practice with a partner share this process together.

Start by considering or talking about what spirituality means to you. Then connect that to your  sexuality and explore what spiritual sex means to you. There is no right definition. Explore yours. This will help you connect with your own spirit and soul, bringing it into your sexual interaction.

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Setting the space

Next, we suggest creating an environment for your lovemaking that feels sacred to you. You might set the lighting in a way that feels sacred. You can use scarves and fabrics of color to create a feeling of connection with the Divine. You can light candles and bring in sacred objects. You might even create an altar to your relationship — to your relationship with you if you’re practicing individually, or to your partnership if you’re practicing with another.

From there, sometimes you may want to bathe or shower first as a form of purification or washing away anything that doesn’t serve your spiritual connection. Some will actually offer a prayer, or an invocation of God, the Divine, or Spirit into the space where they’ll be engaging sexually. Yes, that means you can invite God into your bedroom. Yes, you can ask for blessings on your physical loving. If you want to invoke sex magic, you might also set intentions for your manifestation as part of your invocation.

From there, it is the union of heart, sexuality and spirit that makes sex spiritual. That means that you’ll want to bring an open heart to your lovemaking. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be in love with your partner, but Love must be present. You could consider this Love Divine unconditional unlimited love. If practicing solo, you’ll want to bring this deep unconditional love to you.

Then let go. You cannot control spiritual sex. You cannot make it something. You cannot even intend a best ever experience. Those best ever experiences always arrive unbidden. For sex to be spiritual, you have to let go and allow your spiritual self or selves, united with the great Divine, to lead. Let yourself or yourselves be ravished by an energy and a love much greater than yourself.

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The connection with Tanta 

Spiritual sex while described in some ancient, or what some might call esoteric, Christian texts, we know that many of the Eastern traditions have considered sex as spiritual for centuries. The Buddhist, Hindu, and Taoist traditions tell us that sex can absolutely be a pathway to healing, awakening, vitality, and Divine union. 

In some of these traditions individuals and partners would engage sexually with highest intent. Again, they might do so for healing, spiritual awakening, manifesting, and even for peace on earth. Yes, sexuality can heal the body. Yes, because of the deep love and unity of spiritual sex, that energy – created through your lovemaking – can ripple out into the world for the purposes of peace between any and all people.

As a matter of fact, you might be surprised to know the Sanskrit words for vagina and penis. In Sanskrit, the word, Yoni, which represents the vagina means ‘sacred space.’ The word Lingham represents the penis and means ‘wand of light.’ That wand of light has immense power to heal, and that light can extend far beyond the genitals of one’s partner. This is where transcendence and reunion can begin.

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If you find yourself curious about spiritual sex and what it might bring to your life, take the time to get to know, or more importantly feel, the connection to the higher, Divine, or sacred realms within you. For some this may feel foreign or uncomfortable at first because many of us have been conditioned to believe that sex is anything but spiritual. If you have some of those beliefs or experiences in your past, your exploration of spiritual sexuality will bring any and all resistance that exists in your consciousness up to the surface. That’s a good thing. As old, limiting views of the world arise, you have the opportunity to release them. This frees you to embody not only new, but the deepest, realms of love and ecstasy. 

Finally, you might also get curious about ‘is Tantra for me?’ Then, let all of your curiosities and wonders lead you to what feels most aligned for you. If sex feels spiritual, let it be. If you always want to have spiritual sex, choose it and commit to it. Want spiritual sex once in a while? Great. Do that. 

Live the sexual life most authentic and true for you.

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Because of its deep commitment to the necessity of a holistic and intentional step-by-step approach to love, intimacy and passion, conscious men and women have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy’s weekend retreatsto cultivate sacred union in and out of the bedroom. 

You too, are invited…