Tantric Meditation: 9 Sacred Experiences for Singles and Couples

Tantric meditation offers anyone who practices a direct path to that which has the capacity to repeatedly take our breath away and even render us speechless. When practiced regularly, with mindfulness, the meditating person or couple will find their experiences of intimacy, love, and peace all amplified and expanded. Too often people misunderstand the true heart and essence of Tantric practices and therefore assume they apply only to couples. This is not the case. Tantric meditation, like all Tantric practices, serves individuals and partners alike.

As a matter of fact, when couples practice Tantric meditation together, the experience the two share, depends wholly on the practice of each individual in the partnership. Additionally, when a single person chooses to cultivate an intentional Tantric meditation practice, they will not only amplify their attractiveness and boost their magnetizing power in the Universe, they will also set the stage to create a more deeply conscious and soulfully fulfilling relationship when they do partner.

Here we will initially explain what a Tantric meditation is along with the most important factors in a mindful practice. From there we will outline 9 different and specific meditation practices. We’ll explain the different aspects of each practice for both single and partnered meditations. Finally, we’ll conclude with a reminder of the immense power of Tantric Meditation and how to honor that power.

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What is Tantric Meditation?

Before stepping into a new practice, especially one that we may want to devote significant regular time to, on a daily or weekly basis, we will be well served to understand it’s true purpose and power. To effectively answer the question, what is a Tantric meditation, it will help us to first clearly understand what Tantra is.

Many, especially in Western cultures, have taken on the belief that Tantra is synonymous with sex, particularly great sex. This is a greatly limiting misunderstanding of the power and potency of a Tantric practice. While Tantra certainly includes sexual practices, in its ancient and predominantly Eastern origins, it was a yogic practice that brought the practitioner, or practitioners, closer to the Divine or God, however they might define that. That means in short that Tantra is a pathway to the divine.

The breadth of Tantric practice offers well over a hundred different ways to create a divine connection. Sexual practices and meditation practices make up just some of those sacred spiritual pathways. Yet, looked at another way, we could say that all Tantric practices have a meditative quality to them.

With our definition of Tantra in mind, let’s now look at the definition of meditation. As you likely know, we will find hundreds of different teachings on how to meditate. Yet, regardless of the type of meditation, every meditation experience holds at its essence the possibility and capacity to make a direct connection to the part of ourselves that lives beyond the body, the part of us that knows things without a rational understanding, the part of us that can find peace even in tumultuous times, as well as, and maybe most importantly, the part of us that truly loves unconditionally.

Maybe you have now noticed that in a way Tantra and meditation could almost be synonyms. It is this sacred nature, this pathway to divine connection, that affords both singles and couples powerfully ecstatic experiences in love and light through Tantric meditation. The practices we outline here will almost all focus on intimate experiences, although not necessarily physical intimacy. They always invite an intimate experience with self, lover, Beloved, the moment, and / or the Divine.

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Examples of Tantric meditation

Knowing that every Tantric meditation experience offers us an opportunity to unite with the divine universal energies that exist within, between, and beyond us. Using the techniques that follow may ignite connection within aspects of yourself, within a partner, or create an electricity between two of you. 

Below we explore 9 different Tantric Meditations and how to practice them. For each meditation, allow the description to inspire you to connect not just physically, but energetically. Allow yourself to feel without trying to understand or make sense of the resulting experience. After we describe the meditations, in the following section we will offer timing suggestions along with other ways to enhance your Tantric Meditations. 

1)  Eye gazing: . The eyes are known as the windows to the soul which means that when you’re truly present with one another, you may experience a sense of seeing one another’s soul. As a couple, you will sit facing each other gazing into each other’s eyes. In this practice, you each soften your gaze allowing you to see and be seen simultaneously. It’s helpful to look more directly into the left, receptive eye. As a single, you would gaze into a mirror that allows you to see your own soul. 

2) Hugging: As a single, you’ll want to wrap your arms around yourself as far as your reach allows. Or alternatively, you could place your hands, not around you but on your solar plexus and heart in an energetic internal embrace. Then with this physical connection with yourself, allow yourself to send love from your heart down through your arms and hands into your body, energetically loving you. Similarly, as a couple wrap your arms around each other, allowing your hands to rest on the other’s chakras, or energy centers. In particular, you can place your hands behind the heart, behind the solar plexus, or on the sacrum. Again, just as we described for singles, practicing this Tantric Meditation, send love from your heart, down your arms, through your hands to your partner’s energy centers. While you offer this love, you will also want to allow yourself to receive it. 

3) Touch: In this meditation, you will touch either yourself or your partner in a non-sexual way, yet in a way that brings as much pleasure as possible. We suggest either focusing your touch on hands, arms, or feet. Whether you are bringing yourself pleasure through touch or being touched by a beloved, you can use a mixture of touch techniques, varying speed and pressure, to bring the deepest pleasure.  

4)  Harmonizing: Based on a practice taught by the Source School of Tantra, this Tantric meditation offers a couple a chance to lie in a spooning position and breathe in synchronized harmony with each other. This synchronization of bodies, beings, and breath invite a feeling of  true union. As an individual, for this practice, you can imagine that you are being spooned by your higher self, the universe, or even a future beloved, as you breathe consciously and rhythmically. Let yourself feel both held and loved.  

5) Intentional Breathing: For couples, you might be surprised to realize that simply breathing together, inhaling simultaneously and exhaling simultaneously can unite your hearts, bring your energies into harmony, and create inherent closeness. On the other hand, you can amplify energy within, and between, you and a partner using reciprocal breathing where you breathe opposite one another. One partner will inhale while the other partner exhales. You’ll continue breathing in this pattern throughout the meditation. For singles, your Tantric breathing meditation invites you to amplify the energy within you by repeatedly circulating energy between your heart and your sexual center bringing more and more love and peace to you. 

6) Energy Circulation: Building on the Tantric breathing meditation, you’ll find several ways that the intentional movement of energy within your own body or between the bodies of you and your lover, has the capacity to open you into the realms beyond normal experience and description. We are, at our essence, purely energetic beings and through our practice of Tantric energy exchange we discover genuine intimacy at all levels. As an individual, another powerful meditation practice that ignites our ecstatic and divine energy happens when you breathe fully into your whole body and then contract the PC muscle for a few seconds while holding your breath. Then, as you release the muscle, exhale fully, feeling the energy rise and expand. Optionally, you could pump your PC muscle, as you hold your breath, for a different internal energetic experience. For couples, you could both, of course, practice the individual Tantric breathing meditation. Or you can circulate energy between you and your partner, focused on heart and sexual centers. To do this the male or masculine partner sends energy from their sexual center into the female, or feminine, partner’s sexual center. Using her breath, the feminine partner draws that received energy up to her heart space where she then sends it from her heart into his heart. Using his breath, he draws that energy down from his heart to his pelvis, where he then starts the circulation process again. (Note that no physical connection is needed here. You can sit in each other’s presence without touching. You can even practice this remotely when you’re not physically together.     

7) Witnessing: Almost everyone craves the experience of seeing and being seen. The best Tantric meditative way to do this is to use the phrase, “When I look at you I see…” Couples, sit facing your partner. One partner starts by speaking (seeing). The other partner starts by receiving (being seen). The speaker repeatedly completes the sentence, “When I look at you I see…” naming whatever they see in their partner in that moment. The partner being seen simply listens and receives. Then, the partners switch and repeat the meditation. For an individual, you would again practice this with yourself in a mirror. As you see yourself in the mirror, repeatedly say, “When I look at you I see…” and receive the reflection offered. Whether doing this individually or as a couple, this an important time to focus on beauty and brilliance. Make this Tantric meditation a no judgement zone. 

8) Pleasure: Whether partnered or single, any time we have the opportunity to experience pleasure, we have the opportunity for a Tantric meditation. For this practice, consider anything, or any experience, that generates pleasure for you, or for you and a partner. Once again, this practice need not be sexual in nature, and is often better with non-sexual stimulation. For this meditation, indulge particularly in sensual experiences – such as tastes, smells, and textures –  that generate the most pleasure for you. Think of juicy succulent fruits or rich chocolate truffles. Use warm oils or silky and soft fabrics. Light candles or burn incense in your favorite scents. Whatever way you choose to stimulate your senses, spend intentional time taking in those sensations and allowing yourself, or yourselves, to be moved by them. 

9) Lovemaking: Finally, as an individual here you’ll focus on your self pleasuring. As a couple you’ll turn your lovemaking into a Tantric Meditation. Whether self pleasuring or making love, the key to turning your experience into a meditation stems from your ability to slow down, waaaaay down, and feel every sensation possible. To make your experience even more meditatively powerful, combine some of the breathing, touch, and energy meditation techniques offered here. Stay very present to yourself or one another. As a couple, keep your eyes open and gazed at one another as much as possible. If you want even more sensation, you could enhance your meditation with sensual sex practices.  

For each of these Tantric meditation practices, we suggest meditating for a minimum of 2-5 minutes, even for hugging and witnessing. For most of these an ideal time frame would be 10-15 minutes. For the most experienced Tantric meditators, you could practice any of these for up to an hour. Start slowly and build your capacity to sustain presence, connection, and feeling.  

“It is in the unknown that all ‘best evers’ arise.”  

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Keys to highest ecstasy

Finally, let’s consider several things that will directly contribute to the power and pleasure of your Tantric meditation experiences. We suggest that each time you sit down individually or with a partner, that you choose the meditation you’d like to practice from the list above. and then review these amplifying factors so that you can decide which ones to incorporate into your practice.

• Sacred space – Make the space around you feel special or even sacred by setting the lighting and music. You can also add sacred objects or crystals that can have an amplifying effect for you.
• Cleanse your energy – Make it a point to approach your Tantric meditations free of other distractions. Set aside the tasks of the day. Let unsupportive emotions fall away. You might even take a bath or a shower first, especially for self-pleasuring and love marking. 
• Stay present – We live in a world that makes money by distracting us. We have devices that can feel addictive. For the most powerful Tantric meditation experiences you will want to stay present and attuned to the sensations and experiences that you or you and your partner have. 
• Separate giving and receiving – We have fuller and richer experiences when we stop attempting to be both givers and receivers simultaneously. When practicing as a couple we encourage you to intentionally take turns being the giver and the receiver. As an individual, pay particular attention to shifting between both experiences even by yourself. 
• Say as little as possible – Our connection to love and the infinite Divine realms is a wordless experience. Many of us actually distract ourselves from the power of what lies beyond us by keeping ourselves talking. For these Tantric meditation practices, talk less and feel more. 

For a little more fun while generating a bit more wordless awe, you might bring the manifesting power of sex magic into your Tantric Meditation practice. 

Last but certainly not least, you need a capacity to embrace all forms of emotion – expansive and contractive. It is important to understand that Tantric meditations can evoke deep emotions. They, in an invisible yet potent way, call forward the scared and wounded parts of ourselves. That means we must have the capacity to hold a conscious and safe space for the tender emotions that may arise from these parts of ourselves to come forth and be released. In doing this, we automatically become more available for loving and being loved. This liberates us to more deeply trust life, love, and the Universe. It also lets us rest in the Divine Union that almost all of us, whether consciously or unconsciously, seek. 

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As we close it feels important to reiterate the fact that these Tantric meditations, at first glance, may seem simple to our human mind. Yet, when practiced mindfully, with deep presence and connection, they ignite a potent force to open our hearts, heal us, repair disconnection, and bring us great joy. In order to receive and experience those benefits we must allow ourselves to trust deeply. We must allow ourselves the freedom to release some of the incessant control we might hold. We must cultivate a capacity for, and comfort with, the unknown. For it is in the unknown that all ‘best evers’ arise.  

If you stay in control, if you think you know, if you try to drive the outcome, you will surely limit the ecstatic possibilities that await you here.  

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Since 2006, highly conscious men and women, with a commitment to extraordinary relationships, have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy to find and cultivate Soul Partnerships from their bedrooms to their boardrooms. Ecstatic Intimacy believes in coveted relationships, for all. 

You too, are invited…

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