The Law of Polarity in Life, Love and Lovemaking

Mastering the law of polarity will reap profound rewards in every aspect of your life, including romance. We find this innate universal law present in nearly every aspect of existence. We can’t escape it in business or the bedroom, nor anywhere in between. Understanding its dynamics will allow you to manifest and enjoy the best of all that life has to offer. Yet, mastery requires an understanding of its nuances as much as its essence. 

Many don’t realize they resist aspects of this Universal law. Yet when they embrace the flow of its teaching, pure magic can ensue. It always offers us a path forward. It offers us a direct path out of our pain and into our desires – if we will simply meet the opportunities of the moment.

Here we will begin our exploration by answering the question: what is the law of polarity? Then we’ll look at examples of the law of polarity, as well as how it plays out in romantic relationships. Finally we will conclude with an understanding of the prerequisites as well as what happens beyond the law of polarity to support an even deeper mastery.

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What is the law of polarity?

The law of polarity determines the relationship between all experiences. Without realizing it, most of our contrasts and comparisons depend on the law of polarity. In other words, one idea or concept in the world could not exist without its contrasting opposite. In other words, the word hot would have no meaning without its counterpart cold. We could not understand light without the contrast of dark. Feminine means nothing without its partner masculine. We’ll explore more examples in a moment, but first let’s look deeper into the definition of the law of polarity. 

In our exploration of all of the Universal Laws we define the law of polarity as follows: Everything in the world exists as a spectrum of opposites and these opposites form part of the same whole. Said another way, the whole must include both ends of the opposites spectrum. To fully know one end of any experience we must also know the other. 

In spiritual realms it’s often said that “we can only go as high as we can go low.” Yet, this law of polarity based premise challenges many humans today. We tend to seek the ecstasies of life while at the same time trying to ignore, avoid, and deny its inherent difficulties. We will never find joy in this way. Our seeking of anything through avoidance and numbness to its opposite will always leave us longing.  

Again, to live one dimension of life we must also meet and dance with its counterpart. This does not mean discomfort will always be present and still we must stop running from its possibility. All efforts to accept only one side of the spectrum will leave us in pain. Said yet another way, if we try to escape from one side of the polarity equation we escape from both. If we try to make one side disappear, we make both disappear. Some will recognize this in their approach to emotions. If we seek positive emotions and simultaneously attempt to avoid so-called negative emotions, we will most likely find ourselves depressed rather than enlivened. 

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Law of polarity examples

To more fully understand the law of polarity in life let’s explore some common examples. You’ll see that these pairings apply to every human being without exception.

As a matter of fact, while you explore the examples below consider taking on a challenge to see if you can describe your experience of life without these kinds of polarity pairs. 

Then, as you play with that, we also invite you to recognize the fact that your experiences and descriptions of any aspect of life based on the law of polarity cannot ultimately be accurate. You will have your perception while others will have their perception. What is hot to you may be warm to another. A day that originally felt hot may seem, in contrast, only warm when faced with a series of 100 degree, high humidity days. So yes, these are a matter of perspective, yet we cannot exist and communicate without them. 

Some of the most common examples of the law of polarity in life include:

internal and external
self and other
pain and pleasure
for and against
up and down
in and out
hot and cold
smooth and rough
active and passive
constructive and destructive
controlled and uncontrolled
past and future
beginning and ending
being and doing
expansion and contraction
grasp and resist
humble and arrogant
birth and death

As you reflect on these, remember again that the experiences are relative. Even birth and death are relative when applied to how we live our lives. In any given moment, are we birthing our lives or are we dying — whether literally or figuratively?

Inherently this means your perception and description are personal. It’s your opinion, and another person may see and describe experiences and conditions in significantly different ways. Neither perspective is right, neither is wrong. Therefore staying humble over righteous matters. Both views need to be honored and that awareness leads us into an exploration of the law of polarity in relationships.

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Law of polarity in relationships

When it comes to the law of polarity in relationships most of us know the pairs of opposites masculine and feminine the best. Yet we’ll find many more examples of polarity pairings at play as we explore the full realm of relational dynamics. In our descriptions, you’ll likely see how many people regularly try to resist one side of the polarity equation in dating and relating.

Your invitation here is to continue to see that we must embrace both aspects of each polarity pair if we hope to feel whole, complete, and fulfilled in life or love.

Before we look further at examples of the law of polarity in relationship, let’s explain how many of these expressions of polarity mirror the expressions of masculine and feminine energy. You may even start to realize that ultimately almost all examples of the law of polarity examples could be categorized as masculine or feminine experiences. 

Let’s start with one of the most critical aspects of any romantic connection. All successful lasting relationships depend on the dance of the opposites unity and sovereignty. We could also use words like independence, individuality, separateness for the masculine, sovereign pole, along with connection interdependence, partnership, and closeness for the feminine pole. In the simplest terms, ‘me’ describes the masculine and ‘we’ describes the feminine. 

If either person in a relationship has concerns about losing yourself in a relationship, it suggests this person tends to give up their sovereignty (masculine aspect) in favor of unity or partnership (feminine aspect). Yet, in order to do this it requires self abandonment which always leads to resentment, and in turn kills love. Others avoid closeness (a feminine aspect) while seeking separation or distance (a masculine aspect).

Patterns of grasping or resisting connection also get reflected in the two most common attachment styles. Those with anxious attachment style move from their feminine side and grasp for connection. Those with an avoidant attachment style move from masculine energy as their avoidance seeks sovereignty or independence. To this point, we’ve often heard it said that women crave connection while men crave freedom, which again reflects this fundamental aspect of the law of polarity.

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Other expressions of opposites in romantic relationships 

Continuing our exploration of how we navigate romantic relationships through the lens of the law of polarity, we will find several other contrasts useful. 

To that end consider the following questions…

1. Are your hearts open or closed?
2. Do you feel connected or disconnected?
3. Are you being conscious or unconscious in your interactions?
4. Are speaking and listening in harmony?
5. How is the blend of planning and spontaneity? 
6. Do you each consider the experience (the path) as well as the result (the destination)? 
7. During upsets do you tend to inflate (get big and loud) or deflate (get quiet and withdraw)? 
8. How do experiences of attachment and resignation affect you and your partner?
9. How do physical and emotional intimacy play out between you?
10. Do you embrace the human aspects of yourself and your partner as much as the divine aspects?

As you answer, simply notice what you notice. Notice how these expressions of polarity show up in you, in your partner, and in the dynamics between you. 

We must also mention, these considerations do not imply, nor mean, that each person should have equally balanced expressions of both ends of the spectrum. It is most important for each partner to find and live their unique and harmonious expressions of the masculine and feminine within themselves, and between each other. 

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More law of polarity examples in relationships 

Your partner might, for example, be more of a planner while you’re more of a go-with-the-flow type. The two polarized perspectives help bring your relationship into wholeness. However, in order to experience that harmony it also means that neither of you can resist the opposite expression in your partner, or in yourself. The invitation is for the planner to expand their capacity for spontaneity as the go-with-the-flow person develops a capacity for planning. 

Similarly, some people, often more feminine beings, crave connection yet sometimes they sell themselves out to get that connection. They can learn from their masculine partners to develop a stronger sense of the individual self that allows them to set healthy boundaries. At the same time masculine beings can develop their capacity for closeness. Finally, we can draw similar parallels with other dynamics of the law of polarity in love including: physical and emotional intimacy, giving and receiving, and initiating and responding, just to name a few.

As you reflect on the questions and considerations above, ask yourself which side of each pair of opposites do you feel more comfortable with, gravitate towards, or even grass for? Which side do you resist or fear?  

Your answers to these questions, if you allow them to, will help you expand your capacity for true love and sustainable partnerships. 

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Before and beyond

To expand our understanding, mastery, even more deeply, let’s consider how we actually embody the law of polarity.

If we map this Universal law to our Chakra, or energy center, system we see that it comes to life in our second chakra. The first, or root, chakra is about our independence and existence. It exists as single point representing our unique individual form. When we climb to the second chakra, we reach the point where the masculine and feminine aspects of ourselves split and become distinct dimensions of our whole expression. 

In Eastern traditions, they teach us of two energy channels, one masculine and one feminine, climbing up either side of the central channel or spinal column. That reminds us that, whether we like it or not, we do all truly have both masculine and feminine energy within us. We all have the capacity for sovereignty and unity, for giving and receiving, for closeness and distance. We, and our relationships, would be served well by our embracing of our wholeness.

With that being said, most of us have a primary sexual essence. Some of us are more masculine by constitution, some more feminine, some more neutral. We must learn to harmonize these, primary and secondary, paired energies within ourselves. Then, as we partner in romantic relationships, we have another opportunity to create harmony between us. 

Finally, if we continue to look even further, beyond our personal relationships, we will see that the law of polarity exists in our corporate systems, our economic systems, our political systems, and even in biology. Yes, the law of polarity affects the whole of our existence and life. 

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In closing, we hope you’ll take the time to deeply explore the laws of polarity in such a way that it explains both the wonders and the challenges that you experienced in life. Look for its expression in those around you, and in the work that you do, as well as in the world itself. Let your new awarenesses guide your personal evolution, your healing, your authenticity. May they ultimately lead you to great love, peace, and joy.

Finally, stay curious. Set down your preconceived notions of the masculine and feminine. Look at life – from the boardroom to the bedroom – through the lens of the law of polarity. You might just discover an entirely new capacity and appreciation for the wonders of life, and the ecstasies of love.

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Since 2006 conscious men and women have chosen Ecstatic Intimacy to find and cultivate true love and sustainable partnerships, while also fostering their mastery of the yin and yang of relationships(masculine and feminine).

And stepping into creating their relationshipsconsciously.