What Happens When You Meet Your Soulmate?
To answer the question, “What happens when you meet your soulmate?” we, of course, cannot ignore the metaphor that “sparks fly.” It rings true. It is true. And, it only tells part of the story. Sometimes disappointment and confusion arise, maybe even rejection. Those unexpected experiences are also normal. What we’ve been conditioned to expect really harms our soulmate encounters. The problem occurs because we don’t consciously understand the full implication of sparks flying or not, nor do we see the whole picture of a soulmate relationship.
What is a soulmate?
Most of the explanations of soulmates have a fairytale quality to them. While you might certainly have a fairy tale experience, that’s only part of the story. It’s the part that’s left out that is the reason that soulmates all too often don’t actually stay together. Meeting your soulmate will not be all roses and rainbows. It can’t be. What?! Why? … you might ask.
Here’s the unspoken truth about soulmates. You are not meant to make each other happy, although that might happen. You are not meant to ride off into the sunset, although that too may happen. You are also not meant to complete each other. And, no, that won’t happen.
The true purpose of soulmate relationships, the true reason soulmates meet, the definition of soulmates, all point to the same sacred truth. Soulmates are two people who come together for the purpose of evolving each other’s souls. They find each other so that each person can be a more fully expressed version of themselves. The connection can feel magical and it can feel deeply painful at times as well.
It’s the painful part that no one has told you about. The lie of rainbows and unicorns has too many soulmates leaving each other unnecessarily. If you knew it was supposed to be rough, even excruciating, at times, you might just stick it out. And, THEN, you get the breathtaking rainbow moments.
But, no matter what anyone tells you, you can’t have a breathtaking soulmate relationship, without walking through the growth challenges you each must face – before meeting, while together, and even after your relationship. This inner soul work, individually and together, will bring you each to the happiness, joy, pleasure and soul love that you were designed to experience.
To be even more specific, you will push each other’s buttons. You will trigger each other. You will get hurt. And because of that, if you are both willing to open into the discomfort, challenge your own beliefs about love, and face the fears of heartache, then and only then, will you find the deepest love. You will discover that conflict becomes communion in soulmate love.
Let’s be even more honest about the true reality of soul connections. You’ve, of course, heard, and maybe even been compelled by, the idea of “The One.” Yet, here’s the problem, there is not just a single person on this planet, who is here to help you become the highest expression of yourself. If we had only one soulmate, you and I, and our hearts, would be in trouble.
You have multiple soulmates. They come in various forms – yes, of course, lovers and spouses, but also siblings, friends, co-workers, and sometimes strangers. And, yes, even ex’s. (You might not have realized at the time that your ex was a soulmate, but they very well could have been. If your past relationship, including it’s ending, required you to evolve, to be more authentic, and to find your deepest strengths, then yes, very likely your ex was a soulmate.)
While we will connect with many soulmates over a lifetime, it is also true that the most potent soulmate relationships are our romantic partnerships. They are the most potent because intimate soul love does demand our greatest opening, true exposure, and real vulnerability. And, that vulnerability and intimacy is rarely ever more powerful than in our hearts and our sexuality. We have to have courage to love deeply.
So the soulmate you meet in your twenties, who, with you, co-created a life-altering relationship, may not be the person you are soulfully in love with, and finding the greatest mind-blowing pleasures of your life, in your fifties. You may spend your whole life with one romantic soulmate, and you may not. Neither path is better than the other. You will simply find the greatest love when you follow your soul’s inspiration.
So, please stop looking for the one. Please start listening more deeply into your heart, into your soul. Feel the power of a connection. Notice if it’s teaching you something, even demanding that you face your fears. Pay close attention to both exhilaration and an underlying, “Oh my gosh, I’m not so sure, I might want to run” feeling. Soulmates won’t terrify you, but they will make you a bit uncomfortable if they truly are your soulmate.
What happens when you meet your soulmate for the first time?
Given that soulmates show up in many forms, ways, and times, that first connection might not look at all like what you imagined. As a matter of fact, it can actually look and feel a variety of different ways.
First, yes, it can feel like intense sparks of electricity, a compelling attraction where you can’t pull yourselves apart. It can feel exciting and even mindblowing. And, it doesn’t always feel this way. It doesn’t need to.
What happens when you meet your soulmate for the first time, can also be this quiet, subtle internal experience. It can feel like a soft landing at “home.” In this case, there might be a sweet feeling of arriving, as if you’ve known each other forever, yet you’ve just met. There will be chemistry, not like you might anticipate. The reason people don’t often recognize they’ve met their soulmate is because it very well may not have the crazy intense sparks that so many have come to expect. Yet, this “at home” feeling could be a powerful divine sign that your souls have met for a higher purpose.
And, as we mentioned above, soul mate connections will also often include conflict and challenge. Some call these twin flame relationships. It doesn’t matter what you call them, they will call you into the deepest, most authentic and powerful expression of yourself. And, when you stay, the challenges will bring you closer, they will strengthen and deepen your bond. To be clear, staying true to you, while navigating the inevitable upsets of soulful relating will bring you both to sacred ecstatic love.
So, how do you know if you met your soulmate?
You’ll know if you’ve met your soulmate because, if you are listening to your body, you will feel it. There will be an intuitive knowing. It may not make logical sense. It quite often doesn’t. And, there will be a compelling feeling. It might feel like, “Yes, this is the one!” and it might also feel simultaneously like, “No way. He’s too this… She’s too that…” It most often feels like you have to stretch into a new part of you. And, yes, there will also be a magical quality to it.
What to do when you find your soulmate
When you meet your soulmate, no matter whether it feels breathtaking or nerve-wracking or both, the most important thing to do is slow down. You want to be in your body. You want to feel all that you feel. You want to stay present. You want to notice the stories and fears that arise. You want to remember that conflict and challenge doesn’t mean you are not a fit. It might mean just the opposite. And, discerning between the two is your biggest soul opportunity.
How do you discern that? You have a great relationship with you. You know yourself. You recognize your feelings and you honor them. You talk. A lot. You set healthy vs. unhealthy boundaries. You keep leaning into trust and listening to your highest self.
And, most importantly, remember to take a breath when it hurts.
You will not be led astray.
When will I meet my soulmate?
Your soulmate rendezvous might occur anytime. And, almost guaranteed, it will happen when you least expect it. It will happen at the time that is right for you and it will happen at the right time for the other person. There will be an alignment of your two souls’ paths and it will unfold in the perfect timing.
As much as you might want to, you can not make them appear when you think the time is right. You have to surrender the meeting to what we might call a higher power — the energy that unites all of us. When you surrender the goal and rest in simply being you, your soul will be ignited. And, this brilliance of your soul’s light will be a beacon to your soulmate (who has also turned on his or her light.)
Simply put, the biggest mistake you can make is asking, “When will I meet my soulmate?” or trying to make it happen. Let go. Be you. Trust. And it will happen.
Fears: What happens when you meet your soulmate at the wrong time? What happens when you meet your soulmate too late? What happens when you meet your soulmate too soon?
Last but not least, let’s alleviate your fears. You cannot miss your soulmate. And, as we said earlier, you will encounter many soulmates over the course of your life.
You may be in romantic relationship with one or two of them, you might even marry more than one of them. But, you’ll be in relationship with all of them. Some will be your friends, some will be your colleagues, some may be your lovers, some may be your neighbors. The same signs of meeting your soulmate apply to all forms of soulmates that you might ever meet.
So let’s be clear. You can not meet your soulmate too late. You can not meet your soulmate too soon. It’s not possible. You can stop asking the question, “What happens when you meet your soulmate at the wrong time?” You can’t.
To meet your soulmate, you have to walk the course of your life, as authentically as possible. You have to move through your own stages of relationship, and so does your soulmate. When you have both built the relationship with yourself that you need to, divine timing will bring you together. It won’t be too soon, and it won’t be too late.
And, here’s another reminder, that soulmate sparks can feel amazing and they can feel challenging.
What happens when you meet your soulmate… It is a deep, devastating myth, that you only have one soulmate, that you could miss each other, and never feel the fulfillment of divine union. It’s simply not true. You can relax. You and your soul are safe. You and your soulmate(s) will find each other, and you will create magic together. Each of your souls will more fully express themselves because of your meeting, whether for an evening, a season, a reason, or a lifetime.
That is the gift of soulmate love.
*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.