yin yang meaning in love

Yin Yang Meaning in Love: Discovering the Ancient Source of Connection and Passion 

Even though the roots lie in ancient tradition, many in today’s ultra-modern world seek to understand the Yin Yang meaning in love. A part of these often “old souls” knows, without intellectually knowing, the essential importance of both the union and harmony of Yin and Yang energies in life and in love. Somewhere within you may sense the power these two energies carry to transform your intimate life, particularly when it comes to sustained attraction and genuine passion, in all its forms. 

Unfortunately today, we, as a society, have made attempts and vigorous strides to neutralize and even eliminate these two distinct Universal expressions. However, as you may know, possibly all too well, that for many couples, romantic relationships have more challenges and more pain than ever. We’ve tried to follow modern guidance about equality and power in love, yet we find ourselves emptier and lonelier, hungrier and hungrier, for true connection and union. This ancient wisdom holds the potential answers to our heart’s, soul’s, and body’s deep need. 

We’ll look in depth at how our understanding of the Yin and Yang meaning in love and relationships offers us a healthier perspective and, with that, a renewed opportunity to find and enjoy the greatest, most profound love in soul partnership. 

Please note, that for the purposes of communication here we will use the pronouns he/his associated with Yang energy and the pronouns she/her when referring to Yin energy. 


Yin and Yang

What does yin and yang mean in a relationship? Yin and yang actually mean the same thing regardless of whether we’re talking about a relationship, nature, our body’s organs, sacred sexuality, emotions, or any other natural expression in the universe. Yin and Yang energies, whether we consciously feel it or not, continuously express themselves within us, through us, between us, and beyond us. When we become consciously aware of their expression and interplay we can more effectively heal the pains we suffer physically and emotionally. When combined and used effectively, they will more quickly manifest the highest expressions of ourselves and our lives. And of course, together, united, they also offer the secret ingredient to creating, maintaining, and sustaining intimate relationships. Let’s break this down. 

Yin energy, also often referred to as feminine energy, represents the flowing, receptive, opening and yielding energies in the universe. In a flower, the feminine part is known as the pistol and it receives pollination. Only then, through the flower’s ability to receive, can they reproduce. We obviously see this parallel in human form as well.

Yet, let’s also be clear, very clear, that while female bodies often carry a predominance of Yin energy, not all female bodies are predominantly Yin or feminine in nature. The same holds true for masculine beings and male bodies. Gender and Yin and Yang energetic embodiment often, but not always, correlate. What matters is that both people in a relationship understand their own innate Yin and Yang energetic expressions. When each person senses and allows their uniquely authentic embodiment of masculine and feminine within, then as a couple they can master the dance of Yin and Yang between them. That masterful harmonized union then builds trust, creates true partnership, sustains powerful attraction, and ignites deep passion.


Yin Yang meaning in love — more depth 

Going back to our definition of Yin energy, it also conveys the softening, surrendering, creative, sensual, and expressive energies of the world. Feminine, Yin, energy has an authentic chaotic and wild side to it. Herein lies one of the biggest reasons some people fear, and even try to control, contain, and restrain feminine energy. While a deeper dive into that truth lies outside the scope of this particular conversation, it’s important to note that our romantic partnerships, our community and family dynamics, our corporate boardrooms, as well as our bedrooms will all be served by our greater understanding of the importance, necessity, and powerful contribution of genuine Yin energy. 

Now let’s look at Yin’s partner Yang – the equal and opposite energy that when paired together allows the two energies to activate a potently loving and unifying force in our bodies, our relationships, and in our world. Yang energy, also known as masculine energy, expresses as the goal-oriented, driven, decisive, directed, and active energy in the Universe. Masculine energy has at its essence a more rigid, solid expression. We often describe predominantly Yang beings as the “rock” or the “anchor” that we can lean into and depend on. Using our flower metaphor, the stamen or male part of a flower produces the pollen that allows fertilization and reproduction. 

In summary, Yin and Yang receive and penetrate, respectively. At its essence, Yin yields and surrenders while Yang focuses and drives. Yin rests while Yang acts. Yin lets go of control while Yang maintains control. Yin flows while Yang holds that flow. Yin plays while Yang solves. 

For well being, intimacy, happiness, health, fulfillment, love, and passion, the two energies must be united and harmonized within, between, and beyond us. 

Last but not least, as we give Yin and Yang meaning in love, we must realize that many people today believe Yang to be more powerful and important, more valuable, than Yin. Yet we could never be more wrong. Each energy, in and of its own right, contains and offers infinite power. Even more importantly, one could not exist without the other. The greatest expression of Yang depends on an internal Yin. The greatest expression of Yin depends on an internal embodiment of Yang. We will describe that more in a moment.


An attractive force

In our retreats and programs where our participants join us embodying all aspects and expressions of Yin and Yang energy we see that those beings who authentically hold more predominantly Yang energy tend to find Yin beings most romantically and sexually attractive, while truly predominant Yin beings find Yang beings most attractive. The reason for this stems from the law of polarity which reminds us that opposites attract. Yin and Yang energies exist as polar opposites and because of that they create a consistent attractive force that, when genuinely embodied, automatically strengthens the bond between a couple. The stronger, the vaster that polarity, the harder it will be to pull the couple apart, no matter the life circumstances. 

On the other hand, many many people today, across the gender spectrum, live, as we’ll call it, inauthentically, but don’t realize it. This too makes creating and sustaining attraction in romance quite difficult. Way too many genuinely masculine beings wear people-pleasing, nice-guy facades. At the same time huge numbers of truly feminine beings have donned, “I’ve got it. I can do it all. Never let ‘em see you sweat”, masculine personas. When these two types of inauthentically expressing people meet, they will experience some attractive force at play between them. However, due to the energetic reversal, they will still find attraction waning, sometimes quite quickly.

Holding all human expressions, we will also note that more balanced beings, with equal parts Yin and Yang in love, will tend to find other more balanced beings the most romantically attractive. This happens because both balanced partners have the capacity to deeply embody both masculine and feminine energy authentically. In that, they will create a more dynamic back-and-forth flow of polarity. While this regular back and forth flow of leading and following might seem ideal for all beings, those who genuinely embody a predominant Yin or Yang energy will find a back-and-forth exchange of balanced flow much more challenging. 


Yin and Yang as a source of connection 

Our exploration of the meaning of Yin and Yang in love and relationship, particularly in terms of our ability to create and maintain connection in romantic partnership, depends on the internalized interplay of the two energies as we spoke of above. But what does that mean in practicality? To understand this further let’s consider some of the Yin and Yang aspects of the body. In particular, let’s look at the Heart Center and the Sexual Center. 

When it comes to the source of connection, we will focus more on the Heart Center and how the Yin and Yang energy play out there. When we look at the source of passion in a moment, we will bring our attention to the dynamics of the Sexual Center.

In the heart space, here’s where the internalized interplay comes in. Surprising to many, on a female body the breasts extend, or penetrate, off the body and hence actually carry masculine energy. Consider a mother and her child where the breasts provide sustenance. Providing, as you might suspect, occurs in the realm of the masculine or Yang. The love of a Yin, more feminine, being carriers in itself a masculine penetrating quality.  

In contrast, bodies, often male, who do not have breasts carry a Yin, a more tender and vulnerable, energy in the heart space. Their hearts, when they choose it, can open to be penetrated by the Yang love of their feminine partners. We’ll see the exact opposite dynamic and embodiment in the Sexual Center. 

Therefore, when it comes to romantic connections, it is important for feminine beings to be conscious and caring of their desire to penetrate with love, just a masculine beings must remain steadfastly conscious of their desire to make love, to penetrate sexually. 


Integration: Another meaning of Yin and Yang in love

Yin, or feminine, beings don’t actually desire an exclusively Yang, or masculine, being. Feminine beings want, are most attracted to, more masculine beings who have a strength of presence, a solidity, a dependability on the outside, that is partnered with an open heart on the inside. The Yin within supports the power of the Yang. His open heart allows a Yang being to open himself to loving and being loved, to remain emotionally available, and to feel the ecstatic pleasures of true love. 

Offering a clarifying contrast, a masculine or Yang being who does not, cannot, open his heart – we might call him the “bad boy” – can have an attractive quality; that is not, however, the person that the feminine wants to spend her life with. That is not the person that a feminine being will open her fullest heart too, nor surrender in her greatest ecstasy with.

On the other side of the equation, predominantly masculine, or Yang, beings find Yin beings who hold a radiant, flowing, alive, and brilliant expression on the outside coupled with a grounded presence on the inside, absolutely compelling and magnetizing – mesmerizing. 

A powerful Yin being will compel a Yang being to show up as the greatest version of himself. This is why some masculine beings will say to a feminine being whom they love, “You make me a better man/person.” Of course, again, not all masculine beings identify with the male gender. You simply want to remember the criticalness of discovering your personal innately authentic expressions of Yin and Yang within you, no matter gender or orientation.

This interplay within the heart space of these core essences allows the Yin and Yang to fall in love. 

Again, if you happen to find yourself more balanced between the two energies, it will, as we have said, be important for you to explore your own energy centers, especially the Heart and Sexual Centers, to discover how you sense and feel the Yin and Yang within your own body and being. Your personal understanding of how these energies express authentically, not performatively, within you will make all the difference in your ability to create and sustain connection and passion in romantic love.


Yin and Yang as a source of passion 

Now let’s bring our focus to the Yin Yang meaning in love inside the bedroom. Here we turn our attention to the Sexual Center. Using the male and female ends of the gender spectrum as examples, the Sexual Center on a male body is Yang. We say it is Yang because the penis, known as the Lingam or wand of light in Sanskrit, penetrates off the body. It has the capacity to enter or penetrate a Yin form. The vagina, or Yoni meaning sacred space, of a female body rests internally. It therefore holds feminine energy and is typically penetrated in sexual union.

While speaking about sexuality and passion, we want to note that Yang penetration does not need to happen physically. The pleasure and power of penetration can happen energetically as much, and sometimes more powerfully, than physically entering the body. Yang penetrates Yin. Yin receives Yang. Physically. Energetically. Spiritually.    

In the energetic realm, a feminine being might describe herself as “pinned by a gaze.” She might feel entered energetically without ever being physically touched. While it might not make sense to a predominantly masculine being, the feminine can experience this as ravishingly and luxuriously as any physical contact. With that, as long as the partnership is conscious and consent has been given – on a physical and an energetic level – this kind of non-physical penetration can be exquisitely sensual and even orgasmic. 

Finally, the greatest pleasures of sexual intimacy and divine union arise through the conscious interplay, the sacred dance of the Yin and the Yang energies flowing between the Heart Center and the Sexual Center. In two whole beings, the Yin and Yang of love circulate through those centers to amplify the experience of love and passion. Sexual experiences sourced in this inner union have the capacity to render partners breathless, speechless, and in awe of what the bodies and souls created together. We will be left with exquisite and indescribable memories of a pleasure beyond words. Yet both partners will know, without a doubt, what they have shared. 


The true meaning of yin yang in love: Harmony and Polarity 

As we continue to explore this interplay of Yin and Yang and their meaning in love we must realize that men and women, anyone anywhere on the gender spectrum, experiences both the vulnerability and receptivity of Yin energy as well as the focused and penetrating nature of Yang energy. 

We must all, therefore, seek to understand ways to honor both of these expressions within ourselves and within our partner. We want to create a harmony inside ourselves and in our relationship. Yet, you’ll also want to know that one of the mistakes commonly made, given today’s societal focus on eliminating our differences, happens when we imagine that harmony means balance or equality. 

For the majority of human beings, as we’ve mentioned, one energy expresses more predominantly than the other. This means that if we want to sustain love and attraction, if we want to ignite the greatest passions, we will commit to discovering and allowing the embodiment of our innate authentic Yin and Yang energies. If one energy is innately stronger than the other in you, allow it to be. Embrace it. If Yin and Yang express genuinely balanced in you, embrace it. Be you. 

With this, hopefully predominantly Yang beings will finally give themselves permission to be truly masculine, even embodying the Divine Masculine. Yin beings will finally give themselves permission to be feminine, the Divine Feminine They will stop buying into the expectations and “shoulds” of society. In your authentic energetic expression you will find connection and a depth of bonding stronger than you’ve ever imagined. 


The allowing of both energies in their rightful harmony can do nothing but magnetize and solidify a bond of love that can last the test of time – through the natural ups and downs, trials and tribulations, that always come with romantic love. It is, in fact, the union of Yin and Yang within, between, and beyond that will carry a couple through the most difficult times while also leading them into the most exquisite and ecstatic experiences possible in love

As you know, authentically embodying these two energies will require you to release conditioning and expectations you have absorbed, as well as the wounding that you’ve experienced. It takes courage. It can feel uncomfortable. But what happens on the other side of the embodied knowing of the Yin Yang meaning in love, will find you realizing the journey to have been wholly worth the effort. 


*At Ecstatic Intimacy, an all-inclusive website for singles and couples, we welcome all sexual orientation(s), gender(s) and relationship expressions. In this article we utilize the pronouns he/she/him/her.

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